If 2 happily married celebs can’t make it, can any of us?

Life. com, who spoke with friends of the couple.

“They’re taking some time apart but they’re not doing anything further,” Fuller says. “They’re not trying a legal separation; they’re not getting lawyers. They’ve been so committed as a family and have been so in love with each other, I’m sure they will still work hard to see if they can continue to make it work.”

On the other hand: Recent research at Ohio State University on the incidence and length of legal separations ( as opposed to informal separations, as in the case of Douglas and Zeta- Jones) has found that about 79% of married couples who separate end up getting divorced. Most separations last one year or less, but a few drag on a decade or more before ending in divorce court.

So, not good odds, indeed. But the travails of Douglas and Zeta- Jones might not be especially applicable to the hoi polloi anyway. Marriage is hard — thus the reason 50% of American unions end in divorce — and Hollywood marriages are harder.

“And Hollywood marriages with significant issues have got to be the hardest of all,” says celebrity watcher Howard Bragman, vice president of Reputation. com. “With his cancer and her mental- health issues, it’s an incredible challenge. I give them credit for lasting this long.

“They were there for each other during the tough times, and I truly believe they wanted to sustain this, but most people can understand it doesn’t always work.”

Compounded stress is harder on stars, Weil says. “Celebrities are in a fairy- tale, honeymoon existence,” she says. “They’re not equipped to deal with the realities of life, such as sickness, that catch them off guard. They have to be in a very stable, functioning relationship to withstand the storm.”

Weil says cancer, with its obvious, defined enemy, is the easier of the two medical problems to cope with. “With bipolar, you’re fighting yourself,” not a tumor. “Mental illness is not an exact science. It’s a roller- coaster ride, and you take everyone with you. And I don’t think Michael Douglas is in any shape to take a roller- coaster ride.”

When Douglas and Zeta- Jones were married in a lavish ceremony in 2000 at Manhattan’s Plaza Hotel, they were hailed as the newest, hottest May- December union in Hollywood, and neither seemed bothered by the age difference.

But that gap sets up challenges, Fuller says.

“He had so much life experience, he’d been through a marriage, he’d had a child. I think he was madly in love with her, but he brought a much larger life experience into the marriage,” she says. “He was trying to not re- create the problems he’d had in

“Hollywood marriages with significant issues have got to be the hardest of all.”

Howard Bragman, Reputation. com

his first marriage. He learned he wanted to be a hands- on father because he hadn’t been with his first son, Cameron.

“He wanted a second chance to be a husband and a father.”

Plus, she says, he was a “Prince Charming” to an up- and- coming young actress from Wales. “He came from a fabled Hollywood acting family; he already had had a hugely successful career. He brought with him a charmed life for her because of his Hollywood stature and his wealth.”

But his cancer diagnosis was a shock. “Once you have a medical issue, life stops short,” Weil says. “You have to put your energies into getting well.” And so the marriage gets ignored.

Then Zeta- Jones confirmed she was being treated for bipolar disorder with therapy and drugs. She was praised for her openness and willingness to undercut the stigma of mental conditions, but “it’s always difficult in a relationship to cope with depression and mental illness,” Fuller says.

If the Douglas- Zeta- Jones marriage does end up in court, the signs suggest a reasonable outcome, says Malcolm Taub, who has handled other celebrity divorces as co- chair of the family- law department of the Davidoff Hutcher & Citron firm in New York.

“Both seem to be fairly reasonable people,” Taub says. “He stood up to the plate in his first divorce ( from first wife Diandra), and there’s no reason this will be any different.”

So how come two reasonable people couldn’t make their marriage work? Because they’re just like everybody else but with more pressures, Taub says.

“Their lives are looked at under a microscope. They’re both working in different places and different times,” he says. “They have conflicts that most people don’t have, and the accumulated effect can lead to a breakdown in honesty, trust and intimacy, which in turn leads to estrangement.”

Add medical pressures and the result can be either exacerbating or ameliorating, he says.

“One celebrity divorce I handled, the husband after the divorce had a relapse of cancer, which reunited the couple, and the former wife was with him until the day he died,” Taub says. “Or a medical issue can present another major, major stress which creates a breakdown in the relationship.”

Bragman says there is sympathy in the movie world but not shock.

“A lot of people wanted this to work because they’re popular, as a couple and individually,” he says. “Everyone wanted them to succeed. All we can do is wish them well.”