USA TODAY International Edition
O’Flaherty’s road to pageant life
That she’s the first openly gay Miss is an afterthought
In the headlines, she’s Miss America’s first openly gay contestant. But strolling in front of Boardwalk Hall, Miss Missouri Erin O’Flaherty is just a gal in a track jacket and sneakers, jokingly standing on her toes in front of the boardwalk’s pageant queen statue, the crown almost touching her head. “Don’t curse me!” she laughs. Spending a morning with O’Flaherty reveals a cheerful 23- year- old, with all the poise of a “pageant queen” yet none of the diva stereotypes. When the sun peeks out of the clouds during an outdoor filming session, she reassures her team that she doesn’t need sunglasses and keeps the cameras rolling. She handles snagging her red evening gown during a fitting with similar ease.
Rehearsing a brassy show tune before preliminaries, O’Flaherty’s 5 feet, 5 inches seems twice as tall, projecting Broadway- size confidence as her family cheers her on from the stands.
Pageants have become a family affair for O’Flaherty, who’s inspired two sisters and a cousin to start competing. But her own path to pageantry was less conventional; instead of joining a sport or pledging Greek life during her first year at her alma mater, the University of Central Florida, she found the pageant’s collegiate chapter instead.
“I entered the Miss America organization because I went to a school where I didn’t know anybody and I needed to make friends,” she says. “It was a semester- long involvement that I knew would give me friends as driven as I was.”
Little did she know that would lead to a four- year journey of scholarships, a state title and a FOR COMPLETE COVERAGE FROM SUNDAY NIGHT’S LIVE SHOW, VISIT LIFE. USATODAY. COM trip to the Miss America stage.
“About five years ago, she came to me and said, ‘ You know what, I’m going to be Miss UCF,’ ” says her grandmother, Beth Barnes. “And I said, ‘ What? In this long line of feminists, you’re going to enter a beauty pageant?’ And she said, ‘ Yeah!’ ”
This doesn’t sound out of the ordinary to O’Flaherty. “If I can make my mom a believer, and she is a total feminist, anyone who understands what this organiza- tion is about can fall in love with it,” she laughs.
Family support helped O’Flaherty navigate one of the more challenging experiences in her life, coming out as gay at age 18.
“It was really hard. But ultimately I knew I had to do it,” she says. “My family was absolutely nothing but supportive, and I knew that when I decided to come out and when I was ready, it would be that way.
“In a way, I wish it would’ve been harder, because some people have it so bad, and I never really had a terrible coming- out,” she continues. “It was very easy for me because of the people I was surrounded by.”
O’Flaherty recognizes that while her coming- out journey was a positive one, that’s not the reality for many LGBT youths, a cause she’s made the cornerstone of her Miss America platform, promoting the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention as well as the Trevor Project, a crisis intervention and suicide prevention hotline for at- risk youth.
Her focus on suicide prevention is rooted in a personal loss. “It was inspired by the loss of one of my great friends when I was 13,” she says. “When I was navigating the grieving process, I realized that there were warning signs and risk factors that were there that I completely missed.”
That’s something O’Flaherty is working to change among her younger peers, hoping “to open up a conversation.”
Citing the “overwhelmingly supportive” reaction she’s received from the public, O’Flaherty hopes that her participation in the Miss America competition can send a message of hope.
“I would tell ( viewers) who may be struggling to come into their own that their life may be challenging but there are thousands who support them, and I am one of them,” she says.
“It was really hard. But ultimately I knew I had to do it. My family was absolutely nothing but supportive.”