‘ SIMPSONS’ CHARACTER IS ...

The Simpsons aired its landmark 600th episode and 27th “Treehouse of Horror” installment Sunday. Now while we love Homer, Marge, Bart, Lisa and Maggie, the reason we keep returning to Springfield nearly three decades later has as much to do with the town’s other residents as it does the residents of 742 Evergreen Terrace. Two of USA TODAY’s biggest Simpsons fans, Brett Molina and Jayme Deerwester, make their cases for the series’ most valuable supporting character.

JAYME DEERWESTER: TEAM BOO- URNS.

When it comes to Simpsons supporting characters and especially the show’s villains, I have to hand the Montgomery Burns Award for Outstanding Achievement in the Field of Excellence to none other than ... Charles Montgomery Burns, Homer’s boss at the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant. Smithers, release my talking points!

HE’S A FUNNIER VERSION OF A POLITICAL CANDIDATE.

In the 1990 episode “Two Cars in Every Garage and Three Eyes on Every Fish,” Springfield’s richest man ( and resident Citizen

Kane stand- in) sought to “embiggen” his dominion — and do away with environmental regulations — by running for governor. When a PR stunt dinner with the Simpson clan went sideways and doomed his chances of winning, he lamented, “This anonymous clan of slack- jawed troglodytes has cost me the election, and yet if I were to have them killed, I would be the one to go to jail. That’s democracy for you.” Sound like anyone you know?

HE’S ADORABLY OUT OF TOUCH.

Practically every line out of the old man’s mouth is a history lesson for the whippersnappers. Only back in our day we didn’t have Wikipedia to look them up. No, we had to go down to the basement and haul out the encyclopedia.

Like the time he went to the post office and told the clerk: “I’d like to send this letter to the Prussian consulate in Siam by aeromail. Am I too late for the 4: 30 autogyro?”

WITHOUT HIM, WE WOULDN’T HAVE WAYLON SMITHERS.

The relationship between Mr. Burns and his long- suffering executive assistant was the original study in workplace Stock- holm syndrome. An animated

Devil Wears Prada, if you will. Smithers got the Ramones to play at his boss’ birthday party and identified Homer Simpson for him more times than we can count. He even grew a spine once in a while, which resulted in at least one resignation and, at long last, his coming out as a gay man last season.

HE’S A DOG LOVER.

He keeps his hounds wellexercised by releasing them on every person who shows up at his gate. Sometimes, when he’s feeling generous, he releases therapy hounds. He even sings catchy ditties about dogs. No, wait,

See My Vest was actually about skinning puppies for their coats. Bad example. Moving on ...

HE’S TRUE TO HIMSELF.

On rare occasions, Mr. Burns has dusted off what little conscience he has and experimented with becoming a better human being.

He bribed Homer to tutor him on being likable. When he went broke, he agreed to give up his evil ways in exchange for Lisa’s help in regaining his fortune. He even tried to find love with Marge’s mom and Gloria, the ex- girlfriend of Snake, the Kwik- E- Mart robber. But ultimately he realized he was denying his true nature, as illustrated in this conversation:

Homer: “To be loved, you have to be nice to people. Every day. But to be hated, you don’t have to do squat.”

Mr. Burns: “You know, perhaps you’re right. I got so swept up with the notion of being loved ( that) I completely forgot who I am. I’m a selfish old crank. And that fits me like a Speedo.”

You know what? If a selfish old crank is good enough for Smithers, then he’s good enough for me, too.

PHOTOS BY FOX