In 2018, I resolve to ...

Resolutions we’d like to see

… keep speaking out.

The “silence breakers” on sexual harassment

… keep my hands, tongue and other body parts to myself.

Harvey Weinstein, Mario Batali, Matt Lauer, John Conyers, Charlie Rose, Louis C.K., Kevin Spacey and others too numerous to mention

… keep my shirt on — and my hands off American democracy.

Vladimir Putin

… stop testing.

Kim Jong Un

… stop tweeting.

Donald Trump

… “lose” his cellphone.

Melania Trump

… thank my lucky stars that #MeToo wasn’t a thing back in the 1990s.

Bill Clinton

… thank my publisher for changing my book title from I Told You So to What Happened.

Hillary Clinton

… fly commercial.

Tom Price, former secretary of Health and Human Services.

… update my résumé.

Secretary of State Rex Tillerson

… drop the cartoon villain look.

Treasury Secretary Steven Mnuchin and wife Louise Linton

… get tested for selective amnesia.

Attorney General Jeff Sessions

… get to the bottom of the alternative facts surrounding the “Bowling Green massacre.”

Kellyanne Conway

… wait at least 10 days before I order business cards.

Anthony Scaramucci, who served (very briefly) as White House communications director

… save the wrestling moves for WWE.

Rep. Greg Gianforte, R-Mont., who body-slammed a reporter

… wear body armor next time I mow the lawn.

Sen. Rand Paul, R-Ky.

… remember, the “O” is for Orrin, not Obsequious.

Sen. Hatch, R-Utah

… remember one thing: If you have to ask their mamma’s permission, they are too young to date!

Roy Moore

… rent, not buy, in Washington.

Sen.-elect Doug Jones, D-Ala.

… sit under a very large umbrella the next time I go to the beach.

Chris Christie

… sign up for credit monitoring.

Richard Smith, former CEO of Equifax

… handle complaining customers without manhandling them.

United Airlines

… triple-check those Oscar envelopes!

PricewaterhouseCoopers

… help Pepsi, by doing an ad for Coke.

Kendall Jenner

… play four quarters of football.

The Atlanta Falcons, who blew a big halftime lead in Super Bowl LI

… lock the door to my study.

“BBC dad” Robert Kelly

… stop somewhere — anywhere — else.

The MARTA bus driver

An annual exercise by the Editorial Board.

Happy New Year!