Verbal and emotional abuse leaves deep scars

The scars you don't see are every bit as damaging as the ones you do.

The suspension of Laurie Hernandez's former coach was notable for not only its length – eight years might as well be a lifetime in a sport where recent success carries considerable weight – but also why it was done. A USA Gymnastics hearing panel determined Maggie Haney had verbally and emotionally abused the gymnasts she coached.

“She'd humiliate me in front of others without a doubt, constantly make comments about me gaining weight, have me work out on multiple injuries, curse at me, point out the way I cried in front of others, and much more that goes beyond my own words,” Hernandez, who testified against Haney, wrote in a lengthy Instagram post Thursday.

“This kind of behavior and treatment is never okay,” the Olympic gold medalist said. “There are some things from my experience that will unfortunately stick with me forever, and I'll always be working to heal from it.”

Too often, verbal and emotional abuse by coaches is written off as just talk. A way to toughen their athletes mentally. How many tirades by wildeyed, red- faced college football coaches are excused because they happened in the heat of the moment?

Even the worst of it – the threats, the bullying, the shaming – is forgiven because it's not as bad as “real” abuse.

It took Mike Leach all of three years to get another head coaching job after being fired by Texas Tech for putting a kid who reported a concussion in a closet. A year after D. J. Durkin was fired by Maryland amid dual investigations into the death of a player during a workout and allegations of a toxic culture, he was hired as an assistant at Mississippi.

But there is a direct line from one to the other, this erosion of self- esteem caused by the verbal and emotional abuse of which Haney was accused and the opening that creates for predators like Larry Nassar.

“They learn not to listen to and honor the messages their body and mind are giving them when it comes to mistreatment,” said Robert Andrews, a sports psychologist who has worked with many Olympic- level athletes.

“They become quiet, passive, timid. A predator comes along and says, ‘ Wow, I can … start grooming them.' Then, when inappropriate touching starts, ( the athlete) feels it, but they've been taught not to say anything. It's a systematic, step- by- step process.”

That's why Haney's lengthy suspension is so significant.

Many of the elite athletes who've said they were sexually abused by Nassar said he was able to prey on them because of the culture of fear and intimidation within USA Gymnastics. While Haney's case took far too long to be resolved and there were missteps along the way, her ban sends a resounding message that that kind of behavior is no longer OK. That medals and titles are not more important than the souls and psyches of girls and young women.

Haney was a rising star in gymnastics, having coached Hernandez and then Tokyo hopeful Riley McCusker, who was part of the team that won the 2018 world title. If Haney can be held to account, so can every other coach who operates a fiefdom of terror.

And those coaches who saw signs of abuse and looked the other way? This puts them on notice, too.

It cannot just be gymnastics, either. Pick a sport, and you will find examples of abuse. To break that cycle, athletes have to feel valued and respected, and they won't if they're being screamed at and harassed. “For years I was taught not to listen to my body or my mind,” Hernandez wrote, “but now I've learned to trust my gut, and know that my experience and feelings are valid.”

It doesn't matter whether someone is verbally, physically or sexually abused. The damage done is the same, and there can be no tolerance for it.