Fumblers of the world: Organize yourselves!
I ended up not being the highest bidder for a lunch with billionaire investor Warren Buffett last week. Someone who wanted to remain anonymous paid $3.46 million for the honor. I’m not sure if Buffett pays for this lunch or the winning bidder picks up the tab, but I guess it doesn’t matter. All money raised from Buffett’s annual auction go to the Glide Foundation, which provides social services to the poor and homeless in San Francisco.
I would have liked to have won. I’ve always admired Buffett for his low-key, folksy ways. Maybe it’s an act, but I don’t think so. Friends drove me by his house in Omaha a few years ago, and I have to confess, I prefer mine. Not to insult Warren Buffett’s house or anything. The man is grounded and selfless.
Which brings me to most everyone else these days, personified by the woman in front of me in line at the grocery store last weekend. Call her the anti-Warren Buffett.
She didn’t have a clue there were other people on this earth, let alone waiting in line behind her. Her selfabsorption was astonishing. I dislike the word breathtaking — I’ve never lost my breath over anything — but it was breathtaking.
She was eating something from a cup, something that occupied her for long periods of time. She left the line a couple of times to get other items, then seemed surprised when the clerk finally told her to swipe her card, a card that was, of course, buried somewhere in her purse, which was larger than a beach bag. The whole process took about 20 minutes. Then off she floated, leaving behind a line that by then wound back to the watermelons.
She reminded me of some of the people at my coffee shop in the morning. They, too, are fumblers. Do they ever say, “Oh, go ahead while I try to find my wallet . . . ”? Never.
I circumvent the problem nicely by often having the exact amount of money — $2.35 — and leaving it on the counter while the fumblers fumble.
I would bet Warren Buffett isn’t a fumbler. Then again, maybe he’s one of those billionaires who never really has to actually deal with money. It’s all taken care of behind the scenes, in the category of Queen Elizabeth II, who once again carried her now-famous and mysterious purse to all of her Diamond Jubilee events earlier this month.
If she’s a fumbler, we wouldn’t know. She’s been carrying that purse for 60 years now, and so far, no one has ever seen her open it.
It must be nice to be queen.