Chances of finding a job: Who knows?
“No one will ever hire you if your shirt is wrinkled,” said my mom, frowning so disapprovingly at my blouse that her eyebrows furrowed into one long caterpillar.
It was 1988 and I was 15, and I was headed to the mall, not an interview. No matter, because to my mother, rumpled clothes were a manifestation of all that was wrong with the world. Messy Gen Xers like myself were welcoming the ’90s grunge era with open arms and wrinkled sleeves. Looking sloppy was cool.
But by the time I applied for my first job as a grocery store cashier a year later, her lesson in social etiquette had begun to sink in. I made sure to dress neatly. I took my first-ever résumé to customer service and politely asked for the manager. I called him “sir” and stood up straight. Fifteen minutes and a nervous handshake later, I was hired.
Today, that teenage rite of passage is hard to come by. Ask for an application at the grocery store, and they’ll tell you everything ’s done online. From your living room, there’s no need to use good manners or shake anyone’s hand. Ironing? Pfft. You can wear your birthday suit, for all anyone cares.
Upload your résumé, click submit. Woooosh! Off it goes to … somewhere. Then begins the Who Knows Game. Did it get there? Who knows. Who’s looking at it? Who knows. How long should I wait? Who knows.
For Gen Z job-seekers new to this game, it’s a frustrating process.
Joshua Hiebert, 17, of Oakwood, has been looking for a job for more than a month. He said he’s applied to about 15 companies — including Target, CVS, Kroger and Tropical Smoothie — but has heard back from only one, Graeter’s Ice Cream. It was one of only two companies that let him fill out a paper application.
At Target, he applied at the instore kiosk. But it was more of a personality quiz, Joshua said. One question on the application asked him which of two choices described him more. “They were two negative things, like ‘I don’t really work that hard’ and ‘I’m not very good at talking to people,’ ” he said. “I was like, ‘I don’t really want to choose either.’ ”
His mom is just as frustrated. “He’s gone to a lot of places, and he’s gone back and followed through,” said Monica Hiebert, 46. “He says, ‘Hi,’ and they have no clue who he is. They’re like, ‘You’re just a number in our system.’ ” Unfortunately for him, Joshua is a number — he’s part of the 16% of unemployed teens ages 16-19 who are actively looking for a job but cannot find one.
On Friday came some good news: The U.S. economy created 287,000 new jobs in June, which was 100,000 more than economists had forecast and the best monthly gain since October 2015. But the jobs and the people don’t always sync. Employers say they are struggling with mismatches between the types of applicants they want and the type they’re getting, USA TO- DAY recently reported.
To anyone playing the Who Knows Game, this is hardly a shocker. Online, you’re a nameless, faceless cog in the cyber machine. A computer combs your résumé for keywords and then, like Chuck Woolery on Love Con
nection, calculates whether you’re a match. (Gen Z, your parents can explain.) If you didn’t mention the right words, you’re out of luck, no matter your qualifications. So which words are the right words? Who knows.
Face to face, the right words are easy to figure out. They are “yes, sir,” “yes, ma’am” and “yes, I can work weekends.” Face to face, you can size each other up. Face to face, our youngest workers would have the opportunity to show they can be responsible and respectful. It’s a confidencebooster and a key lesson in social etiquette they can’t learn while applying online in their pajamas.
And who knows, they may even learn how to iron in the process.