It’s wait until next year for some NFL teams
This is, without question, the most glorious time of the year. Leaves are starting to turn, everything is pumpkinflavored and the NFL is back, with every team granted a fresh start. No one’s quarterback is an interception waiting to happen yet, no one’s secondary is a sieve and no one’s coach is drawing boos just for walking out of the tunnel.
Or, as Commissioner Roger Goodell said in his opening-day letter Thursday, “Fans all around the league can look at their own teams and say — why not us? And they’re right.”
Well, in theory, sure. Everybody can wake up Sunday morning and say this is definitely their team’s year. That this is the year they make it to the Super Bowl.
But let’s face it. Not all NFL teams are created equally. The Patriots and the Browns might be in the same league technically but, in reality, they’re not even close. Just as there are a handful of teams with legitimate Super Bowl aspirations — hi Rams! — so, too, are there a handful of teams who should already have that draft board up and running.
If you’re a fan of one of the following five teams, my condolences. The schedule says there are 16 games left but, let’s face it, your season is already over.
❚ Bills: Your quarterback is Nathan Peterman, he of the five interceptions in one half and 49 percent completion rate. Need I say more?
❚ Bears: Yeah, yeah, yeah, the Bears got Khalil Mack, transforming what was going to be a tough defense into one that looks downright terrifying. Their schedule is fairly friendly, too, with the Rams, Patriots and 49ers the most worrisome games outside of their meetings with NFC North rivals Minnesota and Green Bay. But slow your roll on those plans for a trip to Atlanta in early February. Mitchell Trubisky remains a work in progress in his second season, and while he now has a coach who knows what to do with a quarterback, he’s had to learn yet another new offense.
❚ Browns: Unless someone is genius enough to put a camera on offensive line coach and “Hard Knocks” breakout star Bob Wylie all season, Cleveland has already reached its high point. Yes, the Browns will be better than last year. It would be hard not to be, given Cleveland went 0-16, but the additions of Baker Mayfield, Jarvis Landry, Carlos Hyde and Nick Chubb, along with a solid defensive front seven, give it the makings of a playoff contender. Just not this year.
❚ Raiders: Jon Gruden is not the second coming of Bill Belichick. It might seem that way, given the Brink’s truckworth of money the Raiders threw at Gruden to lure him out of the broadcast booth. But he had, basically, three very good seasons when he was a head coach, with the rest varying degrees of mediocrity. Not to mention he hasn’t been on the sidelines in 10 years, which is more like 20 in NFL age. That Gruden would simply wave a flip card and turn the Raiders into Super Bowl contenders was never going to happen, and it became even less likely with his power play that sent Mack to Chicago. A message was heard loud and clear in the locker room, where Mack was popular, but it probably wasn’t the one Gruden wanted to send.
❚ Buccaneers: There’s a reason Dirk Koetter makes an appearance on almost every list of coaches on the hot seat. Tampa Bay will be without Jameis Winston for the first three games while he serves his suspension for sexually assaulting an Uber driver. Those first three opponents? New Orleans, defending Super Bowl champion Philadelphia and Pittsburgh. Good luck with that. The Bucs’ road doesn’t get easier when Winston returns, either. Tampa Bay is in the NFC South, which will vie with the NFC West for bragging rights as the NFL’s toughest division. That’s a murderer’s row of offenses — it says something when Winston is the weakest of the division’s quarterbacks — and Tampa Bay is banking on a defense that was almost completely rebuilt in the offseason.
Sorry if I’ve burst your bubble, Bears, Bills, Bucs, Browns and Raiders fans. But look at the bright side: Someone is sure to bring pumpkin spice doughnuts to the tailgate.