Father-son dynamic: Love, a bit of rivalry
Complicated relationship extended to the Oval Office
WASHINGTON – Something was nagging then-Texas Gov. George W. Bush two decades ago before his bid for the White House – the inevitable news stories that would compare him with his presidential father.
George H.W. Bush responded with a letter of advice: Be your own person, even if it means distancing yourself from your old man.
“Chart your own course, not just on the issues but on defining yourselves. No one will ever question your love of family – your devotion to your parents,” the elder Bush wrote in a letter in 1998 to George and brother Jeb, then seeking his first term as governor of Florida.
George W. Bush largely followed his father’s advice when he moved into the White House. Even as the two Presidents Bush developed separate and competing legacies, they frequently expressed their love for each other and served as each other’s biggest cheerleader.
The younger Bush will almost cer-
tainly discuss his unique and historic filial relationship Wednesday when he delivers a eulogy at a funeral service for his father, who died Friday at age 94.
“I think it’s a very complicated relationship,” said Doug Wead, who cowrote a book with the elder Bush and wrote “The Raising of a President: The Mothers and Fathers of Our Nation’s Leaders.”
“It was,” he said, “both love and a bit of a rivalry.”
Though many of the Bushes and their supporters deride what they call the “psychobabble” that surrounds stories of their relationship, it has been part of their public life for four decades. Early in his political career, the son wanted to flourish without relying on his father’s successes or being hampered by his mistakes.
“He didn’t want to have to carry the burden of defending his dad’s campaign – it was his campaign for president,” said Andrew Card, who was secretary of transportation for George H.W. Bush and chief of staff for George W. Bush.
For the senior Bush, Card said, there were never hurt feelings about decisions his son made that deviated from his father’s path.
“George Bush lost re-election, and it was hard to get over, and the truth is he never really got over it until his son was successful in winning a second term,” Card said. “President Bush 41 had unbelievable recognition that the person in the battle was more understanding of that battle than someone outside of it.”
Jim McGrath, a spokesman for the family of George H.W. Bush, said the reality of their relationship was simpler “than a lot of the speculation and intrigue make it out to be.” The truth, he said, is that “they loved each other unconditionally; they were never competitive.”
That doesn’t mean their relationship was free from complication. George H.W. Bush told a biographer in 2015 that he thought two of his son’s confidants – Vice President Dick Cheney and Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld – did not serve the president well because they were “hard-line” and “arrogant.”
The younger Bush denied that his authorization of the invasion of Iraq in 2003 stemmed from a desire for revenge against Saddam Hussein, who had plotted to assassinate his father. He disputed the idea that he wanted to resolve unfinished business from the Gulf War authorized by his father.
Journalist Bob Woodward asked Bush whether he consulted with his father before making the decision to go to war.
“I don’t remember. I could ask him and see if he remembers something,” Bush said. “I’m not trying to be evasive. You know, he is the wrong father to appeal to in terms of strength. There is a higher father that I appeal to.”
Bush told Woodward he sought advice from God before the invasion of Iraq.
“The father was very proud of his son, and very loving and very supportive but not very prescriptive,” said C. Boyden Gray, White House counsel to George H.W. Bush who worked for George W. Bush as ambassador to the European Union. “I don’t think he gave detailed advice, if he was asked.”
George H.W. Bush won election as Ronald Reagan’s vice president in 1980 and captured the presidency itself eight years later. George W. Bush married schoolteacher and librarian Laura Welch in 1977 and pursued a business career in Texas.
The two bonded over public life while the younger Bush sought to cut his own path.
As he rose from baseball team owner to Texas governor to president, Bush often suggested he was more conservative than his father, who earned enmity from some hard-line Republicans who attacked him for signing a spending bill that included tax hikes.
While George H.W. Bush never lost signs of his New England lineage, the son embraced his Texas-ness. “The big- gest difference between me and my father is that he went to Greenwich Country Day and I went to San Jacinto Junior High,” the younger Bush said.
Another quote concerned his outspoken, sometimes sharp-tongued mother, Barbara. “I used to say I had my daddy’s eyes and my mother’s mouth, which is really true,” Bush told USA TODAY in 2014.
For decades, Bush family members downplayed tales of how much influence father and son had on each other’s presidencies, including stories about the son’s role in the dismissal of the father’s first White House chief of staff, John Sununu.
Like many presidents, the Bushes understood that no one has the wealth of information the person in the Oval Office does, and everyone should respect presidents to make their own decisions, aides said.
“They wanted to respect the prerogatives of the president,” said Marlin Fitzwater, press secretary for President George H.W. Bush.
The two Presidents Bush seized every opportunity to defend each other.
Card relayed the story of standing in the Oval Office on George W. Bush’s first day in office, when the new president was silent for his first several minutes. In walked the senior Bush.
“Mr. President,” he said to his son. “Mr. President,” George W. Bush responded.
“They had tears in their eyes,” Card said. “It was just a moment when they felt tremendous mutual respect.”
George W. Bush – who was the first, and so far only, president to leave office with both of his parents alive – wrote a book about his predecessor. In “41: A Portrait of My Father,” the 43rd president compared his and his father’s campaigns.
“When reporters would ask how my father would affect the race, I joked that I had inherited half of his friends and all of his enemies,” he wrote. “The truth was that he didn’t have many enemies, and I was able to pick up many of his friends.”