Barkley’s unlikely friendship
Iowa scientist’s daughter reveals special bond
It’s not the most likely friendship, the one between a 6-6 NBA legend and a 5-6 scientist living in eastern Iowa.
But it was one that brought Charles Barkley to Iowa for a funeral this summer. He came to remember his friend Lin Wang, a Chinese-born cat litter chemist who died of cancer.
Wang’s daughter, Shirley Wang, tells the tale that started in a California hotel bar four years ago. On Saturday, she made the friendship public in a piece for Boston’s NPR News Station, WBUR, to help herself grieve but also share a piece of her father.
“It was, like, one of the most random things,” Barkley said with a laugh, remembering when he met Lin, in the piece.
Shirley’s father had told her the story about how the two became buddies, but she learned more speaking with Barkley after her father’s funeral in June.
A friendship blossoms
“I was just sitting at the bar,” Barkley told Shirley Wang, a freelance journalist. “And me and your dad were the only two people in there. And we just sit down and started talking.”
Barkley was in Sacramento for a charity event, Lin for a business trip. It was there that a bond was born.
The men got to know each other at the bar and eventually grabbed dinner. They talked about basketball, one of Lin’s loves, and family, Shirley Wang’s piece said.
“I think we had a good conversation,” he said. “We agree with each other (on) a lot of point of views.
Then they met up at the hotel the next two nights before Barkley gave Lin, who worked in Muscatine, his phone number.
“Certainly, I told him I had a good time talking with him, hanging out with him,” Lin told his daughter, she later wrote. “He said the same thing to me, and he left the phone number. He said, ‘Whenever you’re in Atlanta, New York City or Phoenix, check out with me. If I’m in town, we’ll hang out and have a good time.’ ”
Their friendship would continue after Lin returned to eastern Iowa and Barkley continued his high-profile career as a basketball legend and analyst for TNT.
In 2015, when Barkley’s mother died, Lin flew to Alabama to support his friend. The former Suns star was impressed that his new pal went through the trouble of flying to the Deep South.
“It ain’t easy to get to those places,” Barkley said of Leeds, Alabama. “I’m from a very small town. For your dad to take the time to come to the funeral meant a great deal to me,” he told Shirley Wang.
‘One of the happiest people I’ve ever met’
Shirley Wang said her dad was proud of the friendship the two had built. He was understanding when people didn’t believe his story but made a slideshow showing pictures of the two of them together.
Despite the physical differences, the men had plenty in common, Lin told his daughter.
They both believed that hard work would lift them from their humble beginnings.
Both valued being a father above just about anything else.
“I think it was more that he was proud (of his kids),” Barkley told Shirley Wang. “Because I’ve got a daughter, too. I’m just really, really proud of her because I think she’s a good person. And your dad was so proud of you and your brother.
“Listen: As an adult — and you’re too young to understand this now — all you want is your kids to be happy. That’s what you work for. To give your kids everything in life.”
Barkley and Lin would meet up whenever they found themselves in the same city. Lin even got to meet Barkley’s costars on TNT’s “Inside the NBA,” taking a picture with another superstar, Shaquille O’Neal.
“Your dad is one of the happiest people I’ve ever met in my life,” Barkley said. “I’m not just saying that — I mean, think about it: It’s fun to be with your friends, you know? ’Cause, I don’t have that many friends that I want to be around, to be honest with you. I mean, you know a lot of people. But when you go spend time with your friends, it’s a whole different animal.”
Lin Wang: 1966-2018
A year after Barkley’s mother died, Shirley’s father became sick. Lin was diagnosed with cancer in May 2016.
“I called him and got mad at him when I found out,” Barkley said in Shirley Wang’s piece. “I was, like, ‘Dude, we’re friends. You can tell me. You’re not bothering me. You know me well enough — if you were bothering me, I would tell you if you were bothering me.’ ”
Lin Wang would die June 3. Just days later, his daughter would meet his famous friend.
Shirley said Barkley showed up to the funeral. He even gave a eulogy.
“I’m so blessed to know him as a person,” Barkley said of Lin at his funeral. “The world is gonna be a little less happier because (Lin) is not here.”
Shirley Wang reached out to Barkley after the ceremony. She was amazed at what the NBA legend could teach her about her father — and herself.
“Listen: just keep doing you. It’s your time now. Don’t forget that,” he told her. “That’s the most important thing.
“Your dad prepared you to take care of yourself. He prepared you for that. I was blessed to know him — and know you, too.”
Barkley again gave his condolences and told the Wangs to keep in touch.
The two’s friendship might be best summed up by the following exchange.
“It gives me great memories and great joy to know that I was a friend of his,” the 11-time NBA All-Star said. “Just hearing about him at the funeral — what he had accomplished and what he was trying to help other people accomplish, just made me even — I wished he bragged more about himself.”
“So, let me get this straight: You were impressed by him?” she asked.
“Yeah,” Barkley said.
Shirley Wang says telling story helped her
Since being published by WBUR, Boston’s NPR radio station, the story has been shared on several platforms including Yahoo and Mashable. Celebrities and personalities in and outside of sports such as Seth Myers, Soledad O’Brien and David Aldridge have tweeted about the piece as well.
“I guess I just wanted to talk about (my father) all the time,” Shirley told The Des Moines Register on Saturday. “People don’t usually allow that time or space to talk about mortality or death, but it’s literally all I could think about. Just finding that writing could help me put these stories into ways that people can access and read at their own pace or ingest at their own pace.
“It has helped me so much.” Shirley, who grew up in Iowa and graduated from Tufts University in Boston, said she’s heard from dozens of people. Some thank her for talking about her loss, others share their own stories of loved ones affected by cancer.
“I’m really glad that people are responding so well because I really do think these types of things are happening around us all the time, but they’re hard to talk about it,” Shirley said.
Still, she laughs when she thinks about her dad’s giddiness about knowing Charles Barkley. She said she was never sure if they truly had a relationship. After all, she saw the one-sided text exchange her dad would show people.
“I was always like ... ‘It sounds a bit like a joke,’ ” Shirley said with a chuckle. “No one will believe you.”
But the evidence came in the form of a hoops Hall of Famer showing up to a scientist’s funeral in Iowa. Now, Shirley said, she hopes she can build a relationship with Barkley.
“He was like, ‘ We talked so much about you guys and his family,’ and I just had no idea,” she said. “He and my dad would say the same things (Barkley says) and I hope maybe he can be like a second father when I need advice.”
Barkley, she said, told the Iowa woman to reach out whenever she needs to. It seems he plans on being there for Shirley and her family just as Lin Wang was there for him.