Stephen King in film: The best and worst
Where will “Pet Sematary” rank among the horror master’s film adaptations?
Almost as long as that legendary master of horror Stephen King has been keeping book lovers up at night, filmmakers have been adapting his books, for decades now. Which means there have been some classics and some clunkers.
Two years ago, “The Dark Tower” completely crashed and burned, but two months later, a new version of “It” scared up enough dough to make it the highest-grossing horror film of all time.
The latest scare-fest adaptation, an updated take on “Pet Sematary,” arrives in theaters Friday. Here’s how it ranks alongside the best and worst of King’s theatrical releases, starting with the bad:
10. ‘Maximum Overdrive’ (1986)
King’s lone directorial effort has a rockin’ AC/DC soundtrack and a Green Goblin truck as a vehicular villain that fits the ‘80s cheese. If you’re hankering for a good movie with a killer automotive, though, 1983’s “Christine” is the much better choice.
9. ‘Firestarter’ (1984)
Drew Barrymore plays the pyrokinetic kiddo on the run from the government because they want to utilize her supernatural powers. That’s cool and all, but what’s a bit too silly is Barrymore’s hair looking like she’s getting hit with an industrial-strength blow dryer every time she sets things aflame.
8. ‘Carrie’ (2013)
You only redo a classic if there’s something new and different to explore. While it could have gone some interesting places with, say, a deep dive into cyberbullying, it’s just a for
gettable and unoriginal retread with a telekinetic troubled teen (Chloe Grace Moretz) and crazily righteous mom (Julianne Moore).
7. ‘Sleepwalkers’ (1992)
It’s like a horror-movie version Mad Libs: The plot revolves around the last of a shapeshifting species of energy vampires who turn into werecats, are mortal enemies with regular cats, and feed on virgin women. Enough said.
6. ‘The Dark Half’ (1993)
An author is forced to face his evil doppelganger. It would be awesome if this were a spinoff of Jordan Peele’s “Us,” but nope, this thing’s a big turkey with Timothy Hutton playing the dual roles of a highbrow writer and his murderous mystery-penning twin.
5. ‘Cell’ (2016)
At least the concept gets an A: Cellphones turn a large percentage of the population into mindless rage monsters. Execution, though? Well, that’s a big fail, even for a faux zombie flick.
4. ‘Graveyard Shift’ (1990)
Insane stuff happens at a reopened textile mill. People start dying and it’s all because of ... a ginormous rat. Even if the monstrous rodent wasn’t a specialeffects fumble, the film is Z-grade across the board.
3. ‘The Dark Tower’ (2017)
The biggest sin here isn’t the filmmaking – which is certainly bad – but the complete whiff on creating an expansive fantasy world. Although Idris Elba does what he can as gunslinger Roland Deschain, everything around him is a miss.
2. ‘The Mangler’ (1995)
The late director Tobe Hooper is a horror staple, but this travesty isn’t. Hooper rounds up another genre legend, Robert Englund, for this awful movie about a possessed laundry press, which cleans up in the competition for worst King movie villain.
1. ‘Dreamcatcher’ (2003)
A good cast (Morgan Freeman, Damian Lewis and Timothy Olyphant) and ace director (Lawrence Kasdan) are completely wasted in an abhorrent mishmash of lifelong bromance, alien invasion and government conspiracy.
And now for the good stuff:
10. ‘Pet Sematary’ (2019) A more effective effort than the 1989
adaptation, the downward spiral of a family rocked by tragedy who go to supernatural lengths to reconnect with dead loved ones is funnier and slightly campier than you’d expect. It goes deep on afterlife themes, there are plenty of freaky moments, and scene-stealing Church is the coolest resurrected cat of all time.
9. ‘The Mist’ (2007)
Like smart monster movies? This is your jam. A group of townsfolk hunkers down in a grocery store when a mysterious mist and all manner of weird beasts surround them to unnerve the bunch. The drama is less about the creaturepocalypse outside than the testing of humanity’s limits inside, and the ending is one hell of a gut punch. (Also: Check out the black-and-white version for best results.)
8. ‘Stand By Me’ (1986)
King is as much a master of Americana as he is frights, and Rob Reiner’s coming-of-age tale of four misfit youths
and their adventures to find a dead body is top notch at capturing the unbreakable bond of friendship and the fleeting, fragile nature of childhood innocence.
7. ‘Misery’ (1990)
A modern take might have nutty Annie Wilkes simply sliding into the DMs of author Paul Sheldon to profess her fandom but it wouldn’t have been so malevolently perfect as this pre-internet chiller. Kathy Bates earns her Oscar and then some, taking Annie’s terrifying adoration for James Caan’s Sheldon to a disturbing, hide-your-eyes level.
6. ‘The Dead Zone’ (1983)
Christopher Walken is a psychic schoolteacher who “sees” someone’s secrets if he touches them, including a vision of a nuclear holocaust after shaking the hand of a senatorial candidate (Martin Sheen). Did we mention this thing feels kinda timely?
5. ‘1408’ (2007)
In the most underrated King movie, a supernatural skeptic (John Cusack) who writes about haunted places takes interest in the legendarily creepy room of a New York high-rise. It’s astoundingly kooky but also a thoughtful study of cynicism and belief.
4. ‘Carrie’ (1976)
Sissy Spacek exudes quiet, tortured grace as a teenr just blossoming into womanhood, leading to bullying from classmates and her abusively religious mom (Piper Laurie). The last 30 minutes is a jaw-dropping transformation from innocence to murderous hysteria.
3. ‘It: Chapter One’ (2017)
Taking the friendship stuff from “Stand By Me” and weaving in a deliciously evil clown in a poufy wardrobe, “It” works magic on a lot of different levels and leaves you desperately seeking more Pennywise. (“Chapter Two” arrives Sept. 6, for all you calendar-keeping horror fiends). Warning: May not be for those skeeved out by buckets of blood shooting out of a sink.
2. ‘The Shawshank Redemption’ (1994)
There’s not much scary here other than some jail guards. Instead, what makes “Shawshank” an all-timer is the core friendship of two inmates (played by Tim Robbins and Morgan Freeman) who figure out they’d better “get busy living or get busy dying.”
1. ‘The Shining’ (1980)
King notoriously disliked Stanley Kubrick’s masterpiece, but it’s by far the best of the entire lot. Come for the infamous scenes – “Heeeeere’s Johnny,” anyone? – but stay for the exceptional exploration of isolation, one man’s descent into madness, and the terrifying effect on his family.