Strength for 2 families
Eighteen years have distanced Kevin Wilkins from that fateful day. But the emotions remain intense, the images vivid.
Wilkins, then 6, sat next to his mother, Della Parker, in their home in Englewood, New Jersey.
“Ask anybody, and they’ll tell you I’m a mama’s boy,” Wilkins told USA TODAY. “My mom was doing hair, and I was sitting to the left of her.” Safe, secure, happy.
The tranquility suddenly shattered.
“Three or four people walked in the house, looked at my mom and said, ‘We’re taking your kids,’ ” Wilkins said. “They got a black garbage bag, went upstairs and put all our clothes in the garbage bag. They just grabbed me, and she said, ‘Go.’ She knew why they were taking us, but we didn’t know.”
They were officials from the Division of Youth and Family Services, which determined Parker’s drug addiction rendered her unfit to raise her children.
“They took us to the car, and we
drove away,” Wilkins said. “I cried so much I threw up in the back seat.”
Wilkins, his two brothers and his sister were separated. The next three years, he bounced around to 14 foster and group homes. His oldest brother, Rosheen Coe, 17 at the time, tried in vain to gain custody of Kevin.
Wilkins’ fortunes changed, however, thanks to adoption, resilience and a stellar athletic career. He has reunited with his biological family. Now, the 24year-old former Rutgers defensive lineman finds himself on the doorstep of the NFL as a potential late-round pick in this week’s draft.
“Something positive had to come out of this,” Wilkins said. “All I went through, it still affects me sometimes. Like, I don’t want anything to go wrong. … It’s stressful, because the fun part is coming to an end and now it’s business mode. It’s time to start getting paid. But in reality, I ain’t chasing no money. I just feel like I’ve got so much ball left in me, and so I don’t want it to end.”
Wilkins’ path to brighter days began during his 14th stop: a group home in Sparta, New Jersey, where he lived with five other children for roughly a year. Wilkins, then 9, had started wrestling and was enrolled in a speed and conditioning program led by area trainers Kathleen and John Wilkins. That program led him out of the foster system.
“There was an instant connection on sight. … He just touched my soul,” Kathleen Wilkins recounts. “I just wanted him to have a better life. My mom used to always tell me, ‘We’re God’s hands in the world, and if you can, change someone’s life for the better.’ … I was like, ‘I’m not questioning this.’ It was Goddriven.”
Initially, the Wilkinses, through Big Brother Big Sisters, hosted Kevin in their home on weekends. Then, with the group home on the verge of shutting down, the family adopted him.
“It was a relief,” Wilkins said. “It was like, I’ve got a mom and a dad, I’ve got an older brother and a younger sister by them — their biological kids — it just felt awesome.”
Wilkins finally had stability and opportunities he’d never known. Entering his freshman year at Don Bosco Prep, he had developed into a standout in football, wrestling, lacrosse and track.
Athletics also played a role in reuniting Wilkins’ with his biological mother.
Coe had maintained contact with Wilkins and attended many of his sporting events. His freshman year, Wilkins had an upcoming track meet at Hackensack High School, just around the corner from his grandparents’ home. Through all of his travels, he had never forgotten their address, which he now has tattooed on his body. Realizing the proximity to the school, he informed Coe, who showed up.
With time to spare before the meet, Coe had an idea.
“I pulled him to the side and said, ‘What if I could make sure you could see Mommy?’ ” Coe recalled. “He said, ‘Let’s go.’ We ran around the corner to the house.”
Wilkins remembers: “We walk in. There’s a lady standing in the kitchen cooking. I knew who it was. She turned around and said verbatim, ‘Who the hell are you?’ I said, ‘Kevin.’ She said, ‘Kevin, who?’ I said, ‘Your son.’
“She said, ‘Kevin, who?’ and her eyes started to water. She couldn’t believe it because she hadn’t seen me in so long. I was 16 at the time. You go from 7 years to 16. It was awesome.”
Said Parker, “When he said ‘Kevin, your son,’ I lost my balance. He had to catch me. I started crying. My mom always told me, ‘Pray on it and if it was meant to be, he will come back in your life.’ All my other kids had come back, except for Kevin. I had prayed and prayed for that day.”
Wilkins felt no animosity. His older brother had explained what their mother endured during rehab.
“When he had an outlook of ‘She didn’t care about us,’ I said, ‘No. What she had was an illness,’ ” Coe said. “‘The illness took over her body, and the more we can show her strength, and the more we can love her, and show her we care about her, she’ll wean, and she’ll want to get off it because she’ll know we love her and care about her.’ I made sure he knew she loved us.”
As Wilkins’ biological family healed, trials hit his adopted family. Kathleen and John Wilkins divorced. The mother and three children temporarily had to live out of Kathleen’s car and hotels. Kevin provided a calming force.
“We had nothing. My other kids (John and Alyxandra) were devastated, but Kevin helped them with that in a way that I couldn’t,” Kathleen Wilkins explained. “They had taken him under their wing, and then the roles were reversed and he kind of coached them through.”
By this time, Kevin was a 6-3, 275pound offensive lineman, blocking for his brother John, a running back, and helping Don Bosco Prep win two state titles. But when John graduated and headed to Colgate after Kevin’s sophomore year, Kevin transferred to St. Joseph, where he won two more titles.
By his senior year, Wilkins had nine scholarship offers, but going to Rutgers would allow his family members to attend his games. His mothers — who now live two minutes away from each other in Wallington, New Jersey, and celebrate holidays together — went to every home game together.
“Kathy’s like my sister. I tell her, ‘That’s our son,’ ” Parker said. “If it wasn’t for her getting him, he wouldn’t be where he is today.”
Wilkins said, “I just feel like I just helped Della out when she was at a time where she couldn’t do what she had to do. … And now she’s turned her life around, that can only help Kevin. The more people that are in his corner, the better.”
Now the NFL looms. But so, too, does uncertainty.
Two weeks ago, he had a pre-draft visit and workout with the Giants, and his agent, Drew Smith, said Wilkins has met with five other teams since February. Wilkins noted most teams have told him to expect his phone to ring on Day 3 of the draft.
If his name isn’t called, Wilkins aims to continue pursuing his dreams as an undrafted free agent. After football, he hopes to become a state trooper. But he remains confident he can make good on an NFL opportunity.
“He doesn’t talk about it, but there is so much on his shoulders,” Kathleen Wilkins said. “I feel like deep down inside, he has so many people to please and to make happy, and in a way, I think he wants to show his gratefulness to everyone and for what they’ve done for him, so he feels an extra pressure to succeed.”
No one expects Wilkins to wilt under that pressure.
“His mind-set is strong,” Parker said. “He knows what he wants, and what he wants is to set an example for others that you can move forward regardless of what you’re going through, because he has been through it all.”
It’s stressful, because the fun part is coming to an end and now it’s business mode. ... But in reality, I ain’t chasing no money. I just feel like I’ve got so much ball left in me, and so I don’t want it to end.”
Draft hopeful Kevin Wilkins