Is Kylo Ren a good baseball closer?
It’s a question you never knew you needed the answer to.
What would a baseball team full of “Star Wars” characters look like?
Through the intensive study of 42 years worth of content from a galaxy far, far away, we identified the ideal lineup, pitching staff and group of coaches who would have to be considered the favorite to win the Fall Classic.
Catcher: C-3PO – “Fluent in over 6 million forms of communication,” you know he’s going to call a good game behind the plate.
First base: Chewbacca – He’s a power hitter any way you look at it, and the big reliable Wookie is going to give you 30 homers and 100 RBI every year.
Second base: Yoda – While shortstops get all of the glory, the keystone is just as important, and Yoda’s acrobatics make him a terrific defender up the middle.
Third base: Rey – The former scavenger has power and quick reflexes, perfect for the hot corner. Her highlight reel catch of the light saber in Episode VII indicated she’ll challenge for a Gold Glove.
Shortstop: Leia Organa – Nobody takes charge quite like Leia, which is just what you want from the general of your infield.
Left field: Padme Amidala – A queen, senator and warrior, Padme is the ideal utility player who can contribute all over the diamond.
Center field: Boba Fett – Effortlessly patrols center with the help of his jet pack and racks up outfield assists with that rocket.
Right field: Han Solo – You’ve got to love the confidence of a right fielder who thinks they can gun anybody down.
Designated hitter: Darth Vader – A storied career took a toll on his body, relegating him to a DH role. Still plenty of power.
Starting pitcher: Luke Skywalker – Exudes the calmness and leadership you want in an ace. Extra points for being a southpaw ... due to his lack of an organic right hand.
SP: Sheev Palpatine (aka Darth Sidious)
– A dominant force, he consistently dares opposing hitters to take their weapon and strike him down with all of their hatred.
SP: Lando Calrissian – What have we here? Lando has the precision to paint the corners but also likes to gamble with a breaking ball.
SP: Darth Maul – Maybe not the consistent source of innings you want from your No. 4 starter, but the former elite prospect still has high upside in the back of the rotation.
SP: Sabine Wren – The young native of Mandalore still has some learning to do but has all of the tools to become a leader on the frontline.
Middle relief: Finn – Thrives in situations that call for his skill set.
Middle relief: Ahsoka Tano – With a history of working herself out of sticky situations, Ahsoka is going to get highleverage outs in the late innings.
Setup: Poe Dameron – The raw stuff is there and he might have a future as a closer, but Poe’s impulsiveness, as demonstrated by the mutiny he organized in Episode VIII, makes him more wellserved for a complementary role.
Closer: Kylo Ren – Your ninth-inning guy should probably be less volatile and Kylo does have a history of blowing it in big spots (see Starkiller Base and Crait), but when he’s at his best, nobody can touch him.