Our kids’ mental health is as critical as their grades
In recent weeks, tens of millions of kids said goodbye to the summer and went back to school. Yet as summer drew to a close, I found myself worrying about how my 4- and 6-year-old children would handle the start of the school year. After children across America, including mine, experienced uncertainty, loss and isolation during the pandemic, it is no surprise that so many parents are worried about the mental health of their kids.
Since the pandemic began, anxiety, depression, loneliness and negative emotions and behaviors have increased among young people. Imagine a high school with 1,000 students. Now imagine about 450 of them saying they are persistently sad or hopeless, 200 saying they’ve seriously considered suicide, and nearly 100 saying they’ve tried to end their own life over the past year. That is the state of youth mental health in America.
This is why, last year, I issued a Surgeon General’s Advisory on Protecting Youth Mental Health, to call our nation’s attention to this urgent crisis and to lay out the actions needed to address it.
It’s also why the Biden administration has pushed hard to safely reopen schools for in-person learning, and invested billions in American Rescue Plan funds to help students get the academic and mental health support they need.
As the new school year begins, how can we ensure the mental health of our children is as much a priority as their grades – recognizing that the two are deeply intertwined? And how can we ensure the responsibility for addressing the mental health crisis doesn’t fall entirely on parents who have already been pushed to their limits, managing school disruptions, remote work and the countless uncertainties that came with the pandemic?
⬤ First, we can all start by reaching out to the children in our lives – our nieces and nephews, our friends’ children, our grandchildren and our own kids – to let them know it’s OK to talk about their mental health and to ask for help. We can share our own mental health challenges to let kids know they are not alone. And we can connect them to professional help, whether it’s a school counselor or an outside therapist, if they are having a tough time.
One of the biggest barriers to asking for help is the shame and stigma that still surround mental health struggles. Normalizing mental health through honest dialogue helps children understand that they don’t need to be ashamed if they are having a hard time. Resources like HealthyChildren.org, the Family Resource Center at the Child Mind Institute, and MentalHealth.gov can help us start such conversations.
⬤ Second, we can help our kids nurture healthy social connection. Creating opportunities for kids to spend time regularly with friends and family in settings that are comfortable is important, especially given that unstructured social and physical activity time is often edged out in overscheduled lives. Taking an interest in our kids’ friendships and talking to them about their relationships can also help them cultivate healthy connections.
⬤ Third, we can support our children in taking care of their bodies and minds, especially by getting adequate sleep. A growing body of research has reaffirmed that sleep is essential for our mental and physical health. Drawing boundaries around the use of technology at night can help kids protect sleep time and avoid interruptions during sleep from phone notifications and messages. Being mindful about not overloading our children’s schedules with commitments outside of school can also help.
⬤ Fourth, research shows that thinking about what we are grateful for can have a significant impact on our wellbeing. Taking a moment with our children at dinner or before bed to remember one thing they are grateful for is one way to build gratitude into our lives.
If we want to use this moment to realize a new normal for our children where their mental health is a source of strength and not distress, then all of us must step up to support parents and children. That means advocating for and passing policies to make mental health care more affordable and accessible. It means ensuring schools have enough mental health counselors. It means all of us playing a greater role in the lives of the children around us.
We all have the power to help our children heal.