Student Perspective: Grieving is Healthy for All
In a life of uncertainty there is one thing that everyone will inevitably experience at some point: The complexity and hardships of grief. The concept of grief is difficult to grasp, as it has a different appearance for everyone experiencing it. Unfortunately, there is no avoiding it, and last year more than ever, grief was felt throughout the world.
If someone were to ask you what the main five stages of grief were in order, would you be able recite them without error? Despite how often the process of grief is felt, many people would not be able to identify the individual stages. In order, these stages are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Of course, this process looks different for everyone, however, the stages can be defined generally.
Denial is the first stage. Denial occurs to give an individual time to process their situation. This is often used as a coping mechanism, along with most other stages of grief. The next stage is anger, another unhealthy coping mechanism that is often used to mask the real emotions felt. Of course, anger can be felt all throughout the grieving process, however, it is most prominent after the denial stage, and leads into the third stage, which is bargaining. In the bargaining stage, “what if” and “if only” phrases are often produced by the individual. This stage is also used to push off the feelings of depression and confusion for as long as possible. This occurs until it is impossible to avoid anymore, and the fourth stage – depression – begins. This stage is somewhat selfexplanatory, producing feelings of intense sadness and helplessness. It can often be difficult to do simple tasks and feelings of fogginess, confusion, and heaviness are not uncommon. This stage can sometimes be the longest stage, until acceptance (the final stage) begins to take over. This final stage is not always made of happy, relieving feelings. Sometimes, this stage only takes place because it is the only way the individual in question can go on. It can sometimes be forced. This is the final stage of the grieving process, but that does not mean that none of these emotions are ever felt again.
These stages do not only occur due to the loss of a loved one, though this is typically the most common reason. The process of grieving can occur in regular situations, such as failing a class or no longer being in a relationship. The different stages are felt at different levels depending on the situation and individual experiencing these emotions.
After the extreme experiences with grief that occurred in 2020, the grieving process has become even more normal than ever before. Grieving is healthy, and there is no reason to be ashamed of it. And no matter how long it takes to reach the acceptance stage, you will get there, and it will get better. The important thing to remember about this process is that everyone feels it eventually. You are not alone.