SENSE & SEN­SI­TIV­ITY

Walker County Messenger - - Sports -

Reader puts foot down on son’s wild hair­style

DEAR HARRIETTE: My 14-year-old son wants to dye his hair red and get a mo­hawk. I am strongly op­posed to it, and I won’t let him do it. He is mad at me and will not speak to me. I don’t know what to do. Should I let him do it? -- Red Mo­hawk, Las Ve­gas

DEAR RED MO­HAWK: I have what may seem like a sur­prise ques­tion for you: What is your trep­i­da­tion around this re­quest? I ask be­cause pos­si­bly the safest time for some­one to ex­plore hair op­tions and per­sonal iden­ti­fi­ca­tion is dur­ing these young years, well be­fore work comes into play and the child has to choose a more mod­est pre­sen­ta­tion. Chang­ing hair color is one of the more tem­po­rary, non­in­va­sive forms of self­ex­pres­sion for peo­ple to use to­day.

I would ask your son why he wants to do change his hair, and then let him go for it. You can also talk about choices and what they say about a per­son. Ask him what he thinks a red mo­hawk will say about him, his per­son­al­ity and his choices in life. Chances are, this is one of many choices your son will want to make as he dis­cov­ers him­self. Be ready to talk to him about each. When­ever you can en­cour­age him to choose to do some­thing that is not long-last­ing, head in that di­rec­tion. Just say­ing no can be dan­ger­ous, though, as it can prompt teens to re­tal­i­ate by do­ing that very thing -- or some­thing more detri­men­tal -- out of spite.

Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an ini­tia­tive to help peo­ple ac­cess and ac­ti­vate their dreams. You can send ques­tions to askhar­ri­ette@har­ri­et­tecole.com or c/o An­drews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Wal­nut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.

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