Walker County Messenger

Wishful thinking out loud

- LOCAL COLUMNIST| DAVID CARROLL David Carroll, a Chattanoog­a news anchor, is the author of “Hello Chattanoog­a: Famous People Who Have Visited the Tennessee Valley.” His website is Chattanoog­aRadioTV.com. You can contact him by mail at 900 Whitehall Road, C

Agood friend of mine who happens to be an Atlanta Falcons fan frequently tells me, “Aim low, and you’ll never be disappoint­ed.”

If only I could.

As an eternal optimist, I have a wish list a mile long. Sure, most of my wishes will never come true. But that won’t stop me.

I wish Major League Baseball owners and players would think as much about fans as they do about themselves. From little kids to senior citizens, some folks look forward to spring each year, just to hear the crack of the bat, and to see their overpaid heroes slide into second base and dive into the outfield grass.

It’s too bad that baseball has fallen into the wrong hands. A 153-year tradition is fading away.

I wish President Biden would own up to the fact that he needs reading glasses. Honestly, Joe, most of us do too. We won’t hold it against you. It’s hard to watch you speak to the nation squinting as if you’re facing the bright morning sun.

I wish former President Trump would listen more and talk less. It has been widely reported by many members of his administra­tion that he usually ignored their grounded, common sense advice. If he gets another chance, I hope he will follow their guidance.

I wish more Americans would support our government during the RussiaUkra­ine crisis. Unfortunat­ely, a few loose-screw members of Congress and some cable network opinion hosts have convinced some folks that cheering for Putin is a good idea. Does anyone really think that would end well?

I wish fewer Americans were openly hoping Biden fails. I get it: they didn’t want him to win. Many of the presidenti­al candidates I’ve supported in my lifetime didn’t win either. Still, I have wanted every president to succeed. Inevitably, they all failed at one time or another. Then at the end of their four-year term, we decided whether to keep them, or reject them. At this moment in time, it’s kind of important that our current president makes the right moves. I hope he does, for our sake.

I wish political candidates would start appealing to people’s best instincts, instead of their worst.

I wish multi-millionair­e political candidates would stop posing with the ball caps, plaid shirts, hunting vests, and rifles. You’re law and order, we get it. Just dress like you do when you’re strolling the grounds of your gated neighborho­od.

I wish voters would stop falling for the ball cap and plaid shirt routine.

I wish every president had as much control over gas prices as people think they do. If so, gas would always be cheap, wouldn’t it?

Speaking of that, I wish gas prices would fall as quickly as they rise.

I wish that anyone who causes a distractio­n at the State of the Union would have to abide by middle school rules of behavior. If you act up, you’re escorted out by the principal, and will have to run ten laps around the

Capitol. This applies to all: from the lowliest members of Congress with no committee assignment­s, to the Speaker of the House.

I wish both major political parties would provide a presidenti­al candidate I want to vote “for.” In recent years, I just to wanted to vote “against” someone. (How about you?)

I wish television viewing options could be simplified. I should be able to find the shows I want, and operate a remote control without earning a degree from MIT.

I wish whoever designs the next gas container I buy for mower gas will stop trying to drive me crazy. Those instructio­ns also require an advanced degree.

I wish I could send a piece of mail from Chattanoog­a to an address thirty miles away, without it taking a tour of Knoxville, Memphis,

Atlanta and Birmingham before arriving at its destinatio­n eight days later.

I wish the college football national championsh­ip game would always be played on a Friday or Saturday night. Whose idea was it to play it on a Monday night, with working people and school kids having to get up early the next morning?

I know, this is all truly wishful thinking. As John Lennon sang so memorably, “You can say I’m a dreamer. But I’m not the only one.”

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Carroll

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