Helping out the host
Dear Annie: I had Nordic dogs for many years and loved them dearly, but they do have a trait that might be off-putting to some. Huskies have wonderful two-layer coats that shed, no matter how well they are groomed. The sister referenced in the letter from “Concerned Husband” who doesn’t pet the husky mix may just be trying to avoid going home with extra fur.
It is sad to think anyone would be upset with their sibling over something like this. Thanks for being the voice of reason. -- A Norwegian Elkhound Mom
Dear Elkhound Mom: Your dogs sound beautiful, but you are right about two-layer coats shedding everywhere. Thank you for sharing.
Dear Annie: I frequently hear older relatives complain that the younger generation does not want to host holiday gatherings and would rather travel to a beach vacation or ski vacation. When I was younger, I did not understand this. Now that I am older and the only host in my home, I have some tips for people who would like to be invited more frequently to holiday gatherings.
One is not to be overly demanding with scheduling. If you are able to accept the invitation for the date and time the host can entertain, great. If not, send your regrets. I am still working and not available to constantly reschedule around all of your children’s and inlaws’ events up until the day before my party. I also may have other people who have already made travel arrangements to attend. You must choose.
Another tip is to be gracious. Do not criticize or complain about the menu, decorations or overabundance of food (no one RSVPS anymore, and everyone has a different food allergy). Pick out something you like, and say only positive things.
A third tip is to be generous. It would be nice if everyone attending, even the uninvited, would ask what I needed or just bring a dish or beverage. I cannot tell you the number of times my cousins have shown up empty-handed to a holiday gathering, and they never host. Not once. It takes a lot of effort to cook, clean and have a party in my home for all holidays, and any assistance is greatly appreciated.
Finally, stop being misogynistic. This one has bothered me for years but recently has become more relatable to most. Yes, I am a single woman, and I happen to have a large home and two vehicles. My home was built in 1965, but your views on equality do not need to be. I am in the same profession as your brother, who has two very nice homes, drives a luxury vehicle (among several he owns) and supports a workat-home spouse. My second car is my first truck, circa 2006. Why must you constantly make comments about the size of my home and my need for two vehicles? I went to school for a very long time to afford the things I have. If you wouldn’t make the same comments to a man, don’t make them to me. Just STOP. -- Holiday Tips
Dear Holiday Tips: Sounds like you’ve really thought this through, and your tips are excellent. A lot of financially successful single women especially will applaud your final tip. Good point.
“How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?” is out now! Annie Lane’s second anthology -- featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation -- is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.