Role Models For Marriage Carla Elder: Contributions On The Home Front

Editor’s Note — This is a behind the scenes look from the perspective of local coaches’ wives as part of a Mother’s Day tribute series. PRAIRIE GROVE — Carla Elder will never forget when her son, John David, now 12, was little and the family resided at Lowell, John David asked, “Does dad just live at school?”

“When John’s home, we have to adjust to him being home again,” Elder said.

Elder is the wife of Prairie Grove offensive coordinator and junior high football coach, John Elder, who besides teaching, spends a considerable amount of time away from the household during the season.

To Elder the tradeoffs are worthwhile. While she admits the couple’s children, John David, 12; Kaylee, 11; and Kenleigh, 6; sometimes wish their dad was home a little bit more to play in the yard, but they all love sports and none would say they want to stay home.

“They love the atmosphere of a game and I don’t feel like we’ve had to sacrifice that much,” Elder said.

“Just being at his games helps him out. He usually scans the bleachers and finds where we are sitting,” Elder said.

“All have cried out, ‘Hey, dad,’ during a game and he’ll wave at them,” Elder said, adding, “After the game they all run out on the field and he’ll take time to give them a hug and let them know football doesn’t outrate you.”

Elder feels a coach may serve as sort of a shepherd to young athletes with a major influence in the lockerroom. Coaches instruct players on the lifestyle necessary to achieve goals.

“Even when they ( players) make a mistake, they (coaches) still love the kids and the kids know that,” Elder said.

Elder said her husband is not afraid to go up and give a kid a hug and tell them, “I’m here for you.” She said not all kids have that and John will call to check on a kid.

Elder sees coaches and their wives as contributing to athletic programs as significant “off-the-field” role models.

“One of the things is for the young men, who are out there and girls, too, to see families can be successful and love each other,” Elder said.

The Elder children are good about allowing mom and dad to get away for an hour without freaking out and the couple will go to Gabby’s.

“They let us go out on a date, they know John and I need to just talk,” Elder said.

Elder expects her husband to reciprocate with contribu- tions to the family.

“I expect him to support me like I do him and he does and to help me out at home. I get tired, too,” Elder said.

High on Elder’s list is her desire to have her husband love her and keep faithful to her, in the same manner she expects of her devotion in their marriage. She wants John to love their kids, be a good example and spend time with them when he can. It’s important to Elder for John to let the kids know they are loved and their dad is there for them.

“As a coach, I expect John to do his job, love the kids who are there, be a good example and make whatever adjustments are necessary to win the game,” Elder said.

“John enjoys his job and I can’t see him doing anything else,” Elder said, adding she hopes other people appreciate her husband for who he is and the work he does.

“We’re proud of him, so we want other people to be proud of him,” Elder said.