Absentee Fathers, Part 2

Father’s Day is approaching but this holiday won’t resemble the Norman Rockwell paintings of the American family a generation ago. Broken homes are now the norm. Two-parent families are scarce. Even more rare are those families where the children’s father is still married to their mother. Fatherlessness is epidemic! Where have all the fathers gone?

The information in this article may make you angry. So be it. The facts are undeniable, yet we can’t — or we won’t — see the forest for the trees.

What happens to kids raised by a mother, without their biological father being present? Is it so bad for a woman to be pregnant apart from marriage? The child isn’t to blame; it is innocent. What about the baby-daddy who won’t commit to marriage? Won’t help raise his children? Won’t support their mother? He never faces adulthood as a real man.

These questions have serious social, moral and national ramifications. We need to study this issue and face the facts without flinching. The erosion of the family unit impacts every single one of us. We see the deterioration of neighborhoods; we know the challenges in our schools; we feel the despair in our culture and watch it explode on TV in the nightly news.

Consider the economic issues. The fact is, there is not enough money in the federal or state welfare systems to pay all of the child support matching dollars, the uninsured medical care, the early childhood special education, the discount food programs, or the subsidized housing needs. These costs paid by taxpayers are directly linked to one factor: children living in homes without a father! The U.S. government may try to provide for single moms but no program can ever replace an involved father being present in the home. Families need fathers. Dads are indispensible.

The harmful effects resulting from absentee fathers are shocking. Look at the statistics I’ve compiled from current resources (US.gov.com; 2014 US Census; National Fatherhood Initiative; numerous journals).

The official U.S. Census revealed one of every three children in America is living in a home without a biological father! That’s 24 million kids with no daddy to tuck them in. That’s millions of single moms, struggling. These boys and girls won’t learn how a man respects a woman or how a dad guards his kids because they will never see it. The husband-wife partnership will remain a mystery, perhaps something to avoid.

Here are the facts, a sad litany. Unlike the fortunate kids whose father is present, the kids with no dad in the home have the odds stacked against them. They are four times more likely to be raised in poverty. They are more likely to suffer emotional or behavioral problems or be more aggressive. They have two times the risk of infant mortality. They are more likely to go to prison. They are more likely to commit crimes or be juvenile delinquents. As teens they are seven times more likely to get pregnant. They are eight times more likely to face mistreatment at home. They suffer 10 times the rate of child abuse. They have six times the rate of neglect. They are more likely to abuse drugs or alcohol. They are two times more likely to be obese. In high school, they drop out at twice the rate and repeat a class at twice the rate. For kids wanting to make “As,” the odds are much more likely with an involved father in the home. Facts don’t lie. The verdict is in.

What can we do about the epidemic of fatherlessness? How can men become fit fathers in the family? We’ll examine solutions to this crisis in part three of this series next week.