The Positive Benefits Of Social Distancing

“If we become hyper-focused on the things that we cannot control, we often find ourselves in a state of panic.”

Carrie Nickels Prairie Grove Health and Wellness Center

The world is changing due to the effects of covid19. Our lives and our history will be forever changed. We find ourselves anxious and stressed, worried about finances, and the unknowns. We feel unsettled and helpless, what can we do?

Unfortunately, there is no one simple way to answer this question for all people. Everyone reacts differently to stressful situations. How a person responds to covid19 is no different than any other life event. People who are higher risk may react more strongly and be more anxious and stressed than a person who feels they are lower risk.

If we become hyperfocused on the things that we cannot control, we often find ourselves in a state of panic. This contributes to anxiety and depression. It also increases the risk of substance abuse and suicidality.

Therefore, in an attempt to reduce panic and reframe our communities with hope, I implore you to consider this time with a unique perspective.

Not even two weeks ago we were moving at a very rapid pace and often did not have time to rest. We were stressed about how to manage all things that we needed to get done. Today, we have too much time and do not know what to do with ourselves. We are bored, scared, and quarantined. In a perfect world we would be able to find a happy medium and develop the ideal sense of balance. However, this is reality and we need to deal with what is real.

Start with talking to your kids. With the increase in stress in our daily lives, as well as the “new normal” for education, you do need to say something. You can’t just let them try to figure this out on their own.

Be prepared. How you handle the conversation, their questions and their fears is honestly one of the most important parts of the conversation. If you, the adult, can be OK, they can be OK as well. They are going to follow your lead. This may mean that you may need to get your own anxiety in a good place before this conversation. Make certain you are talking to children at their level. Rather than using terms likes “pandemic” and “anxiety” you talk about “germs” and “worries.”

When you are talking to them about this, help them to identify their own feelings. Validate the way that they feel, allow them to feel whatever it is. Then, give them something that they can do about this virus. Help them recognize the importance of washing hands frequently, as well as coughing and sneezing away from people. When washing hands, make it a fun task. What can they sing, what rap can they make up, who can get the most bubbles? Yet, also recognize this helps them to have an enhanced sense of empowerment or control in a time in which everything is changing.

It is also important to limit the amount of “crisis” your child is exposed to during this time to reduce risk of anxiety. Be aware that though your child is watching “YouTube” or “Videos,” they could still be seeing commercials and other information about the virus. So, make sure you are monitoring this frequently.

Try very hard to try to frame the changes in their education as positive. Many parents, myself included, may struggle to organize our children’s education, this is why we have chosen not to homeschool to begin with, right? Nevertheless, this is where we are, so talk to your child about this change in a positive manner, not as if they are a burden.

Develop a routine or schedule for their school day at home. This will help them to remain on task. Some ideas of how to start a school day would be to start their day as if it was a typical day at school, with “The Pledge of Allegiance” or have the children go to the table in your home at a specific time or have them make their daily announcements. Try to make learning fun for them not just a task they have to complete. Most of all, try to enjoy this time that you have with your children. It was not long ago we were all “too busy” and “were missing out on their growing up.”

Now that you have managed the children’s fears, adults try not to fill your time with all the negative news casts either. Stay informed, but disconnect. Remember, overstimulation and social media are contributing to your anxiety and panic, as well.

Check in on your loved ones. Pick up the phone and talk to them. Enjoy the conversations that you have been meaning to have since you saw them last.

Identify the things that you wish you had time to do now that the world has slowed down; organize old photos, enjoy the sunshine, and smell the flowers.

Get to know your spouse or partner, fall in love all over again. Take this time to engage your children, get to know them and who they want to become. This can also be a time to look yourself in the mirror and identify goals for yourself and take care of yourself.

If you find yourself not being able to manage the chaos, the anxiety, and the panic; reach out for help. Mental health professionals all over the area, myself included, have shifted to telehealth so we can be available for you at minimal risk. All you have to do is let someone know.