Wired (USA)

“WILL PEOPLE STILL LIKE ME IF THEY SEE ME WITH OATMILK?”

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Many people yes! Some people no! And a bunch of people won’t know what to think about you, which could be kind of cool because mystery really is underrated these days. If the person writing this ad were to see you with oatmilk, the answer would most definitely be yes, but the bias here is obvious. The real question is, Will you still like you with oatmilk? You are the only person who can truly reconcile that kind of existentia­l inquiry and if you still haven’t turned the page yet, let’s take a quick jaunt through the pros and cons. On the one hand, oatmilk is generally just better for the climate than cow milk is—that’s something you could easily like yourself for supporting. Oatmilk also possesses a rare and thoughtful combo of protein, carbs, non-saturated fats and fiber (aka beta-glucans). Your body would probably like you for that. Plus, if you’re into this kind of thing, you can actually lower your own personal climate footprint by swapping out cow milk for oatmilk, since oatmilk on average has a lower climate impact than cow milk does.

As for the other hand—any potential reasons you might not like you with oatmilk—it appears we’re just about to run out of room on this particular ad page of Wired and we didn’t pay for another one so, terribly sorry about that. We’ll have to get back to you.

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