News with a twist
Hunter College in New York City has gone to court to evict a woman it says is illegally residing in a dorm room. The 32-year-old ex-student owes more than $94,000 in unpaid residence hall fees. After she dropped out of school in 2016, the college sent her a 30-day eviction notice. Yet she’s resided in the room ever since. The former geography major apparently knows her way around some rules.
WiGWag received its first 2018 invitation to celebrate LGBT Pride. The notice arrived from Savannah Pride in Georgia, which is beginning the celebration early this year with Mermaid Fest March 23–24. Top billing went to “Blixunami, the gay Geechie Merman.” Metro UK described Blixunami as “the most beautiful person imaginable.”
The National Bobblehead Hall of Fame and Museum in Milwaukee has unveiled a limited-edition doll featuring Olympic curling gold medalist Matt Hamilton, who was born in Madison and now resides in McFarland. Hamilton helped his five-man team win the United States’ first gold in curling in miraculous fashion at the Winter Games in Pyeongchang.
MAKING THE MOST OF MARCH MADNESS
In a growing trend, men scheduled vasectomies on Thursday and Friday during the first round tipoff of March Madness. Why? So they could sit guilt-free on the couch for four days and watch the games with impunity while icing their scrotums. Milwaukee-area urologist Jay Sandlow told the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel he expected to perform 22 such surgeries this year, which is more than twice his normal workload.
DEALING THE SEAL
In the latest example of monetizing the presidency, the Trump Organization ordered dozens of 12-inch plates bearing the official U.S. presidential seal. Trump’s sons plan to use them as tee markers at Trump golf courses. Trump courses already feature plates bearing a coat of arms that are said to be from Trump’s family. But The New York Times reported the coat of arms actually belonged to another family. But it’s been modified by replacing the word “Integritas,” Latin for “integrity,” with the name “Trump.”
NO GOOD DEED GOES REWARDED
Housing and Urban Development Secretary Ben Carson and his wife insisted they had nothing to do with a $31,000 dining-room set ordered for his office. But emails obtained by a group called American Oversight proved that indeed they did. A former top HUD official notified a federal whistle-blower agency that she’d been commanded by the Carsons to find a way around the office’s $5,000 redecoration law. For refusing to commit the crime, she earned a demotion.
BUY AMERICAN SOMEWHERE ELSE
Jimmy Kimmel ordered a big box of merchandise from trumpstore.com, the official retail website of the Trump Organization, to check out the items’ country of origin. Nearly all the merchandise was made abroad, mostly in China. Two items didn’t list any country of origin, an oversight Kimmel said could lead to fines of up to $500,000.
FROM THE MOUTHS OF … ADULTS?
On March 14, when students nationwide walked out of their classrooms to protest gun violence in schools, the National Rifle Association tweeted a photo of an AR-15 — the weapon used at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School and at many other mass shootings. The tweet read: “I’ll control my own guns, thank you.”
A straight and cisgender Australian man started wearing 6-inch stiletto heels to work every day after a female colleague told him that “her heels made her feel powerful.” And he did, too. “I’ve never felt more empowered than when putting on a pair of stilettos and walking through a marble lobby,” said the project manager for a major bank.
Rep. Drew Christensen, a member of the Minnesota House of Representatives, promised to draft a bill banning Arie Luyendyk Jr., aka The Bachelor, from the state. He and other Minnesotans are outraged that Luyendyk broke off his engagement to Minnesotan Becca Kufrin — and on the air, no less. On Twitter, a Minnesota police department dared Luyendyk, a former race-car driver, “to drive fast through Shakopee, MN,” which neighbors Kufrin’s hometown of Prior Lake.