Ask America’s Ultimate Experts
Who says Thanksgiving should be confined to one day? Our experts share the easy, heartfelt ways to capture the Thanksgiving spirit all year long! 1 Grow closer! Create trademark traditions!
“All the research says the quirkier the family ritual, the better because nothing says ‘us’ more than the thing your family does that no one else does,” says family happiness expert Bruce Feiler. Whether it’s eating pancakes for dinner every Friday or everyone donning goofy socks on Sunday, it’s easy to create “trademark traditions” that’ll bring you closer year-round. “For example, my family just moved into a new house, and we designated one of the stairways the ‘laughing stairs,’ ” says Feiler. “The idea is that you have to smile and leave your bad mood behind you in your room whenever you come down those steps. Whatever your family does, just make it unique!”
“Mix and match” generations!
One thing that makes Thanksgiving so special is how multi-generational it is, a time when everyone from great-grandparents to tiny tots gather under one roof, around one table. How to capture that sense of togetherness on non-holiday days? “Just like on Thanksgiving when grandparents and kids are together, I always try to ‘mix and match’ the generations to, say, help set the table or welcome guests,” says Feiler. “It can be as easy as having little kids help a grandparent load the dishwasher on family pizza night. Interaction between loved ones of all ages is so important and something we can do not just on Thanksgiving but all year long.”
2 Keys to year-round gratitude! Say thank-you ABCS!
One way to imbue everyday family dinners with a sense of Thanksgiving gratitude? “By saying ‘Thank You ABCS’,” suggests parenting expert Michele Borba. “This is especially great for younger kids to do at the dinner table and can be a new family ritual that lasts 365 days, not just on Thanksgiving!” she says. “You and your kids say the alphabet together, and for each letter include something you’re grateful for: A, Aunt Helen; B, my brother; C, my cat and so on. Take it up a notch by explaining why you’re grateful!”
Share reverse blessings!
Thanksgiving teaches us to count our blessings—but the rest of the year, it’s just as important to acknowledge what you’re not so grateful for, says Feiler. “Once or twice a week we go around the table and each family member shares one good thing and one bad thing that happened to them that week. A lot of families just want to accentuate the positive, but also sharing the bad teaches the importance of resilience and actually makes us more appreciative.”
Get creative with “table art”!
Why reserve pretty Thanksgiving table décor for the holidays? “I like making ‘gratitude place mats’,” says Borba. “Get plain plastic or cloth place mats for each family member. Once a week, each family member can use permanent markers to write or draw their own gratitude comments on their place mat. Or switch it up so
family members can write down the traits they’re grateful for in each other, like, I’m grateful for Aunt Sarah because she always smiles and asks how I feel. It’s a cute way to stay connected around the table.”