Build the four pillars of bliss!
In her new book The Power of Meaning: Crafting a Life That Matters, Emily Esfahani Smith identifies four things that people who live the most meaningful lives all share: Purpose, Belonging, Storytelling and Transcendence. Here she explains exactly how you, too, can use them to create your own foundation for long-term fulfillment . . . 1 Start with a Purpose!
If happiness is like candy, leaving a sweet but fleeting taste in your mouth, then having a well-defined purpose—a goal that contributes to others—is like your mom’s home cooking: satisfying and sustaining. “Happiness comes and goes,” Smith says. “Meaning is far richer, giving you a longterm sense of wellbeing.” In fact, folks who feel “useful in the world” are more fulfilled and live longer than purpose-free people! ✤ Create your pillar! “Purpose is really about sharing your strengths with others,” explains Smith. So if you love photography, for example, you might try taking cute puppy and kitten pics at your local shelter to help animals get adopted. Or if you love to knit, you might make sweet hats for preemies at your local hospital. In short, enriching the larger world with your talents enriches your world!
2 Nurture Belonging!
“Belonging is the sense of dignity and respect you feel when you’re valued and value others,” says Smith. And it doesn’t take having a million Facebook friends to achieve: “Just one to three powerful relationships significantly enhances your sense of belonging.” The proof: A landmark 80-year-long Harvard study deemed having a few close relationships the best predictor of fulfillment and longevity, better even than having lots of money or good genes! ✤ Create your pillar! In addition to cultivating a few close relationships, try adding some daily “micro connections” to your life. “Simply chatting with the cashier in the supermarket checkout line or saying hi to the neighbors when you’re out walking your dog fosters a sense of community that slashes stress,” notes Smith.
3 Be Storyteller!a
“Storytelling is the pillar that most surprised me when I was researching my book,” reveals Smith. “We all live our lives in terms of a story we tell ourselves, of how we became the person we are—and we selectively choose to highlight certain parts,” she explains. “People with the most meaning in their lives tend to reminisce over stories of redemption, growth and love, and they ‘rewrite’ the stories where they failed at something, by telling themselves the lessons they learned from their mistakes.”
Create your pillar! Whether you share anecdotes from your childhood with your grandkids or, say, put together a family cookbook filled with your favorite recipes and a few lines about the memories they evoke, passing down your stories will enhance the lives of your entire family!
4 Tap the power of Transcendence!
Transcendence may seem like a lofty, hard-to-define term, but it’s actually instantly recognizable, Smith says: “It’s something that whisks you above the hustle and bustle of daily life, and fills you with a sense of wonder!” The proof: People who report experiencing more transcendent moments— such as watching a breathtaking sunset or being uplifted by a beautiful piece of art—are more content and better able to bounce back from setbacks. ✤ Create your pillar! Holding on to those awe-filled moments by jotting them down in a journal or taking snapshots with your camera helps move them from your short-term memory to your long-term memory, where they’re ready and waiting to be recalled instantly any time you need a
booster shot of wonder!