“Help! I feel like a fraud!”

Here, experts share how to cure ‘imposter syndrome’ and embrace the truth: You’re capable, competent and completely worthy

You do belong Because you’re good!

Is it true that you’re not the real deal? That’s the first thing to ask yourself, says psychologist Emee Vida Estacio, PH.D., who advises looking back on the “concrete evidence” of your accomplishments, like your résumé showing your depth of experience, or the successful adults your grown children have become thanks in large part to your guidance. Says Vida Estacio, “Looking at the objective proof of your success — and the challenges you’ve overcome—helps you shift your thinking.”

Reach out to friends

It’s easy to believe we’re the only ones doubting our worthiness. But that’s simply not true, assures psychologist Pauline Clance, PH.D. “Reach out to friends and share what you’re struggling with,” she urges. “They’re likely having similar feelings, dismissing their success as merely ‘good luck’ instead of taking credit. Just as you would remind a friend how talented she is, reassure yourself with the same kind words.”

Yes, you deserve praise

A major symptom of imposter syndrome? Chalking up compliments you get to “people just being nice,” reveals Vida Estacio. To break this selfdefeating cycle, jot down the kudos you receive. “This conscious process helps undo the unconscious, knee-jerk response to downplay praise,” she says. “Instead of saying, ‘You’re lying’ when people complimented me, I had to remind myself to say, ‘Thank you; that’s kind of you.’” This shows you the respect you deserve—and shows others you respect their opinions.

Applaud you Think big picture

Imposter syndrome often triggers intense anxiety that we’re going to be exposed as a fraud, so we shy away from the spotlight and avoid trying new things. The cure: Ask yourself what you’ll be missing out on if you hold back, says career coach Michelle M. Gomez. “These feelings of self-doubt want to minimize you, so maximize yourself instead by going after what you want, one small step at a time.”

Savor your wins

When we find ourselves grappling with self-doubt, we often work ourselves to the brink of burnout, overcompensating for a perceived lack of competence, explains Vida Estacio. “Then when we do achieve something, we don’t give ourselves credit because we think, It’s just because I worked hard, not because I’m talented,” she notes. Refute these beliefs by rewarding yourself when you succeed. “The more you acknowledge success, the easier it is to believe in the legitimacy of your strengths.”

You’re the real deal

Foiling the false notion that you’re a “fake” takes practice, so be patient with yourself, says Gomez. “When these feelings bubble up to the surface, remind yourself, ‘That’s just my imposter syndrome talking,’” she says. “Keep telling yourself that what you put out into the world is valuable—that you do belong.”