Ask America’s ultimate experts

Half of Americans say finance is the hardest topic to discuss. Here, experts share easy ways to break the ice and bring your family closer

With a partner Start with you

Couples who describe their marriages as “great” are twice as likely to say they talk about money daily or weekly, reveals expert Rachel Cruze. To get started, pinpoint your “money personality.” If, for example, you’re a saver and your partner is a spender, you might say, ‘Saving makes me feel secure, but I get that this makes you feel like we’re not enjoying the moment. How can we compromise?’ Says Cruze, “Recognizing where each of you is coming from helps open up the conversation.”

Hear each other

Show you’re really listening by repeating what the other person just said, encourages expert Maggie Baker, PH.D. For example, you might say, “I hear you saying you worry about saving for retirement.” “Echoing your partner’s words shows you’re absorbing them,”

Baker explains. “And when he repeats yours to you, your sense of validation leads to greater understanding, so you can problem-solve together.”

With parents Affirm your love

To help make your parents more comfortable discussing money, lead with love, urges Baker. “Consider sharing something like, ‘I’m so proud of everything you’ve done for our family, and I want to make sure you continue to live a good life.’” Let them know your conversation will help ensure their wishes are honored. A simple thank-you can also start a meaningful chat: “Thank you for being there for me all my life, and now I want to be there for you.”

Connect to the present

Instead of having one long conversation about legal or financial documents, aim for a series of shorter chats while doing something you both enjoy, like taking a walk together, says expert Liz Weston. “This makes it so much easier to tackle topics like health directives or power of attorney—and these chats bring you closer.”

With adult kids Tell money stories

Only about 25% of young adults are financially literate, so consider sharing a story about a time when you overspent or struggled to save. “I hated budgeting with a passion growing up,” recalls Cruze. “But as I learned about it from my parents and what it can do to help me achieve my goals, I found how rewarding saving and planning ahead can be.” Turning your experience into a relatable life lesson shows your honesty and vulnerability, which builds trust around talking about finances.

Honor your boundaries

It’s natural to want to help with your child’s major life expenses, such as the down payment on a house, but it may cut into your savings. “You might point out that there’s financial aid for college and bank loans for buying a home, but no such thing for retirement,” shares Weston. As a compromise, you could consider a partial loan, with a repayment plan. “It can be tricky to balance wanting to support your kids with needing to support yourself,” she says. Openly sharing your goals—as well as your boundaries— can help you strengthen your relationship.