Ask America’s ultimate experts

When second-guessing hijacks your brain, our experts assure you can tame those constantly churning thoughts and rediscover joy

Step back

You are not your thoughts

We identify so closely with our thoughts that it’s hard to see them as separate from ourselves. “That’s why it’s important to ask yourself, ‘Am I obsessing? Is this part of what’s causing my fatigue?’” urges expert Nancy Colier. Once you identify that you are not your thoughts, you’ll become liberated, she promises. “Tell yourself, ‘Oh, that’s just a thought I’ve had a million times, and it hasn’t helped me problem-solve once.’” With this simple realization, you’ll be drawn out of the spiral of overthinking and back into the present moment.

Cross a doorway

Even after we become aware of them, thoughts are stubborn things that often intrude into our daily activities, says expert Melody Wilding, who advises what she calls the doorframe strategy. “Every time you walk through a doorway, check in with yourself to see what’s preoccupying your mind,” she says. “This lets you catch overthinking before it gets out of control.” Then give your inner voice a name. “I call mine Bozo,” she reveals. “Relating to your thoughts less emotionally, with a bit of humor, gives you a wider perspective that stops you from going in circles.”

Fluff your pillow

“Racing thoughts make us feel like we have no control,” says expert Ethan Kross, PH.D. “But performing an easy ritual— a structured sequence of behaviors—helps compensate for the lack of order in your head.” He recommends something simple like organizing your space. To reap the biggest benefits, aim for the morning and make your bed, for example, to create a sense of control that will set the tone for the entire day, keeping overthinking at bay.

Move forward You’re in charge of you

Some of us dwell on the past, others are self-critical and others worry about the future. Identifying your tendency will help you stop overthinking, says Colier. If you fixate on the past, she suggests bringing your attention to the present by focusing on how you feel in your body. “Practice coming back to the moment.” If your thoughts veer to the self-critical, remind yourself of all you’ve accomplished. As for the “worriers,” Colier says, “Check off what you can do by going over your resources. There is a life beyond overthinking —you have to let go in order to be the pilot.”

Limit your choices

Deadlines curb endless analyzing, says Wilding.

“For example, if you’ve been researching something for weeks, tell yourself that you’ll only visit three more websites or consult three more people before taking a step,” she says. “And let someone know that by, say, the end of the week, you’ll have made a decision— this creates accountability and spurs you to act.”

Protect your energy

Overthinking is exhausting, says Wilding, leaving little gas in your tank for more important things. “Automate, delegate and eliminate as many decisions as you can,” she urges. “Automate meals with a set weekly menu, and delegate or eliminate chores on your to-do list.” When we stop stressing over the small stuff, we have energy to appreciate what truly brings us joy.