Teen self-conscious about his body hesitates to start dating
DEAR ABBY:
I’m a 19-year-old male and suffer from a predicament. Let’s just say my “package has been delivered undersized.” It is depressing, and it has held me back from going after girls. I decline dates because I feel so self-conscious.
Now, people are starting to ask me why I haven’t had a girlfriend yet. The truth is, I’m terrified about the reaction I’ll get if I ever end up in the bedroom. I’m still a virgin because of this large (yet small) dilemma. Do you have any advice on what I should do to fix this? —SMALL PROBLEM
IN THE USA
DEAR SMALL PROBLEM: As a matter of fact, I do. Males (and females, too) come in a variety of sizes, and there is a broad range that defines “normal.” Because this bothers you to the extent that you are afraid of a normal social life, pay a visit to your doctor to have an honest discussion. Size does not necessarily dictate the degree of satisfaction a couple can achieve, and you can take THAT statement to the bank.
DEAR ABBY:
My wife and I are 70, married 44 years and have one adult child. My wife has four friends she meets for coffee once a month. One of them mentioned at the gathering how proud I am of our son, who has lost 80 pounds due to a disciplined change in his lifestyle. My wife was embarrassed that I told her friend.
I thought it was a good thing. My wife said it made her look bad in the eyes of her friends, who all portray their children as without-blemish-perfect.
I told my wife I thought she was very insecure.
I am confused about her reaction. Can you give me any insight?
—IT’S A GOOD THING
DEAR GOOD THING: You did nothing wrong. Your son’s achievement is significant and to be applauded. Your wife may have preferred her friends not know that her son had a severe weight problem, although if they are all “good” friends and any of them had seen him, it would have been obvious. Not knowing your wife, I can’t offer more insight than that.
DEAR ABBY:
My husband and I have been married for only a few months, and I think he is already losing interest. He has stopped saying I love you and hasn’t kissed me or given me any affection in weeks. I’m afraid he is falling out of love with me, although I have done everything possible to keep the love flowing. Am I doing something wrong, or am I becoming unattractive? Please tell me what to do, Abby. I really want to save this marriage.
—DESPERATE WIFE
DEAR DESPERATE: Rather than try to read your husband’s mind or guess the reason for his change in behavior, ask him calmly about it. His change in behavior may have nothing to do with you or the state of your marriage. He may be stressed about something, but you will never know unless you ask.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
For an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more sociable person, order “How to Be Popular.” Send your name and mailing address, plus check or money order for $8 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby, Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Shipping and handling are included in the price.))
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