10 best deaths on xbox

Not even the denizens of vir­tual worlds can es­cape the grim reaper’s scythe—but some go out with more style (or hi­lar­ity) than oth­ers. Here are our fa­vorite croak­ers on Xbox

XBox: The Official Magazine (US) - - CONTENTS - Phil Iwa­niuk

Isaac Clarke—Dead Space 1 & 2

You’ve re­ally got to feel for Dead Space’s hap­less hero. As if it wasn’t bad enough for him to be stuck aboard a space­ship full of hor­rors made of the spare parts from a John Car­pen­ter film, Isaac also has to be sub­jected to count­less grue­some and elab­o­rate deaths when­ever you miss a QTE. Fail to fight off an en­emy, and it’ll run a fleshy spike through Isaac’s face with scant re­gard for his Hol­ly­wood good looks. Take too long get­ting through an air­lock door, and it’ll rip his arms off and leave him to bleed to death alone in space. Worst of all is the mal­func­tion­ing eye surgery ma­chine in Dead Space 2 which, frankly, needs no fur­ther ex­pla­na­tion. Isaac, you poor man, we’re sorry for ev­ery time our fin­gers let you down.

An­thony Carmine—Gears Of War

It’s never a classy move to laugh at some­one’s mis­for­tune, but, look, Pri­vate An­thony Carmine’s death scene in the first Gears Of War is a mo­ment of slap­stick bril­liance that Char­lie Chap­lin him­self would be en­vi­ous of, okay? Don’t judge us for gig­gling while he goes gen­tly into that good night dur­ing the open­ing phase of the Light­mass Of­fen­sive. It comes down to the voice act­ing, re­ally: De­spite ap­pear­ing like a su­per­hu­man jug­ger­naut, An­thony has the voice of a teen brat do­ing a Su­per Soaker ad­vert. “Some­thing’s wrong with this thing—ugh, it keeps

jam­ming,” he squeaks, be­fore an abrupt sniper bul­let makes his pre­vi­ous prob­lem moot. Gone but not for­got­ten, Pri­vate.

Any­one who dies danc­ing—Fort­nite

Fort­nite’s ev­ery bit as much a les­son in hu­man psy­chol­ogy as a bat­tle royale game. Just as some peo­ple can’t live with the ig­nominy of de­fault char­ac­ter skins, and would gladly pay real money to wear dif­fer­ent imag­i­nary clothes, there are also those who can’t kill with­out break­ing out into a dance.

What com­pels th­ese aw­ful, aw­ful peo­ple to start floss­ing and body-pop­ping the very in­stant they take another hu­man life? You never hear about ex­e­cu­tion­ers in the Mid­dle Ages cel­e­brat­ing ev­ery be­head­ing with a lively jig. Still, it’s al­ways nice to see them oblit­er­ated by a sniper bul­let while they’re danc­ing on your corpse, isn’t it?

John Marston—Red Dead Re­demp­tion

Real talk: Red Dead’s end­ing had real im­pact and emo­tional sub­stance when it was first re­leased. Sure, videogame char­ac­ters had kicked the bucket be­fore 2010, and some of them were even pro­tag­o­nists. But the man­ner in which the stoic hero of Rock­star’s grand Western went out—that’s what re­ally stays with you. It’s a shootout that leaves you won­der­ing Could I have saved him? Maybe If I’d been quicker, got more head­shots… Maybe you even reloaded and played the fi­nal stand­off again a few times, hop­ing for a dif­fer­ent out­come each time you did. Alas, John’s num­ber was up, and he was an ex-cow­boy. RIP Mr Marston, you ma­ni­a­cal mur­derer of peo­ple and an­i­mals alike.

Ev­ery­one—Mor­tal Kom­bat X

Death is a kind of art form in Mor­tal Kom­bat. It’s been that way since Rain turned her­self into an ele­phant and let out a trum­pet which ripped her op­po­nents’ skin clean off in MKIII. At least half the de­vel­op­ment time of any new ti­tle must be spent in meet­ing rooms dis­cussing dar­ing new ways to sep­a­rate meat from bone, and boy howdy, did NetherRealm ex­ceed it­self in MKX. The sadis­tic and con­vo­luted fa­tal­i­ties here are too nu­mer­ous to list, but suf­fice to say if you ever wanted to watch a girl co­quet­tishly shoot some­one in the head and then use her bub­blegum to plug the spurt­ing cra­nial chasm—here’s your game.

Mordin So­lus—Mass Efect 3

Sorry, we’re… we’re just go­ing to need a minute with this one. Salar­ian ge­neti­cist and pro­fes­sor Mordin’s death is just one part of a huge body count in Mass

Ef­fect 3, but still man­ages to do se­ri­ous dam­age to your heart­strings. He’d al­ways been such an earnest, unas­sum­ing char­ac­ter, mat­ter-of-factly do­ing what was best for the many when­ever the op­por­tu­nity arose. And that’s ex­actly what Mordin did when he saw an op­por­tu­nity to cure the genophage, that weaponized plague de­signed to wipe out the Kro­gan. He mat­ter-of-factly tin­kered on a con­sole while the world burned around him, know­ing full well that he’d be scorched to cin­ders in just a few mo­ments’ time. What. A. Hero.

Face McShooty—Border­lands 2

It’s rare to meet a psy­cho in Border­lands 2 who doesn’t im­me­di­ately open fire on you. It’s rarer still to en­counter one who ac­tively seeks out your help in elim­i­nat­ing them. But if there was ever a case to be made for nom­i­na­tive de­ter­min­ism, it’s with Face McShooty, the mo­hawk-sport­ing chap who asks just that in an amus­ing va­ri­ety of ways (“Now! Bul­lets in the face! Want ’em! Need ’em! Gimme gimme gimme! At the sound of the bell!”).

‘Shoot This Guy in the Face’ is as easy a mis­sion as it is per­plex­ing: He lit­er­ally just wants you to shoot him in the face. He even yells “Thank you!” just be­fore he ex­pires from all those bul­lets to the face. So, you know, noth­ing if not po­lite.

Com­man­der Carter—Halo Reach

Many, many games try to shoot for that rous­ing, blood­pump­ing at­mos­phere of hero­ism and sac­ri­fice that James Cameron so of­ten cre­ated in his ’80s reper­toire, but no one does it bet­ter than Halo. Com­man­der Carter’s No­ble Team all live up to their name dur­ing

Halo Reach’s cam­paign and make the ul­ti­mate sac­ri­fice for their mis­sion, but it’s Carter’s own death that pro­duces the big­gest lump in the throat.

With a fur­rowed brow and ex­cel­lently coif­feured hair, Carter flies No­ble Six and Emile-A239 to their ob­jec­tive while rid­dled with bul­let wounds, draws the Covenant’s at­ten­tion away from them, then pi­lots his ship into a Be­he­moth. An un­der­played, tear-jerk­ing, mo­ment that al­ways gets us.

Joker—Bat­man: Arkham City

Is the Joker’s ironic ex­pi­ra­tion on this list for its sur­prise fac­tor and emo­tional clout, or the un­in­ten­tional com­edy of such an iconic char­ac­ter dy­ing in such bizarre and eas­ily avoid­able cir­cum­stances? The lat­ter, 100 per cent. When Bats and Joker face off dur­ing Arkham City’s de­noue­ment, our hero is hold­ing the cure for Joker’s mal­ady. All Joker needs to do is let Bat­man go through some grav­elly-voiced mono­logues, and he knows he’ll cough up the cure in the end thanks to his in­nate good na­ture. In­stead, in a move that can only be con­sid­ered rash, he at­tacks Bats and the cure falls to the floor. Af­ter barely try­ing to lick it up the Joker gives up and uses his re­main­ing en­ergy to say: “That is pretty funny…” If you say so.

You—Limbo

Who’d have thought the con­se­quences of miss­ing a ledge or fall­ing into some wa­ter could be so dire? Any­one who ever played Limbo, that’s who. At first a sim­ple and darkly pretty game of sil­hou­ettes, Play­dead’s side-on plat­former quickly re­veals it­self to be a rig­or­ous death sim­u­la­tor. One in which the de­vel­oper built its puz­zles with no ex­pec­ta­tion of the player suc­ceed­ing in find­ing the cor­rect so­lu­tion. And it keeps pil­ing on those doomy cre­den­tials ev­ery time you slip up. Caught by the spider in act one? Watch a kid get eaten. Got too close to an elec­tri­fied wire? Watch a kid fry. Spent too long work­ing on a puz­zle un­der­wa­ter? Watch a kid drown in fits and flails. Thank heaven for min­i­mal­ist art styles.

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