10 best deaths on xbox
Not even the denizens of virtual worlds can escape the grim reaper’s scythe—but some go out with more style (or hilarity) than others. Here are our favorite croakers on Xbox
Isaac Clarke—Dead Space 1 & 2
You’ve really got to feel for Dead Space’s hapless hero. As if it wasn’t bad enough for him to be stuck aboard a spaceship full of horrors made of the spare parts from a John Carpenter film, Isaac also has to be subjected to countless gruesome and elaborate deaths whenever you miss a QTE. Fail to fight off an enemy, and it’ll run a fleshy spike through Isaac’s face with scant regard for his Hollywood good looks. Take too long getting through an airlock door, and it’ll rip his arms off and leave him to bleed to death alone in space. Worst of all is the malfunctioning eye surgery machine in Dead Space 2 which, frankly, needs no further explanation. Isaac, you poor man, we’re sorry for every time our fingers let you down.
Anthony Carmine—Gears Of War
It’s never a classy move to laugh at someone’s misfortune, but, look, Private Anthony Carmine’s death scene in the first Gears Of War is a moment of slapstick brilliance that Charlie Chaplin himself would be envious of, okay? Don’t judge us for giggling while he goes gently into that good night during the opening phase of the Lightmass Offensive. It comes down to the voice acting, really: Despite appearing like a superhuman juggernaut, Anthony has the voice of a teen brat doing a Super Soaker advert. “Something’s wrong with this thing—ugh, it keeps
jamming,” he squeaks, before an abrupt sniper bullet makes his previous problem moot. Gone but not forgotten, Private.
Anyone who dies dancing—Fortnite
Fortnite’s every bit as much a lesson in human psychology as a battle royale game. Just as some people can’t live with the ignominy of default character skins, and would gladly pay real money to wear different imaginary clothes, there are also those who can’t kill without breaking out into a dance.
What compels these awful, awful people to start flossing and body-popping the very instant they take another human life? You never hear about executioners in the Middle Ages celebrating every beheading with a lively jig. Still, it’s always nice to see them obliterated by a sniper bullet while they’re dancing on your corpse, isn’t it?
John Marston—Red Dead Redemption
Real talk: Red Dead’s ending had real impact and emotional substance when it was first released. Sure, videogame characters had kicked the bucket before 2010, and some of them were even protagonists. But the manner in which the stoic hero of Rockstar’s grand Western went out—that’s what really stays with you. It’s a shootout that leaves you wondering Could I have saved him? Maybe If I’d been quicker, got more headshots… Maybe you even reloaded and played the final standoff again a few times, hoping for a different outcome each time you did. Alas, John’s number was up, and he was an ex-cowboy. RIP Mr Marston, you maniacal murderer of people and animals alike.
Everyone—Mortal Kombat X
Death is a kind of art form in Mortal Kombat. It’s been that way since Rain turned herself into an elephant and let out a trumpet which ripped her opponents’ skin clean off in MKIII. At least half the development time of any new title must be spent in meeting rooms discussing daring new ways to separate meat from bone, and boy howdy, did NetherRealm exceed itself in MKX. The sadistic and convoluted fatalities here are too numerous to list, but suffice to say if you ever wanted to watch a girl coquettishly shoot someone in the head and then use her bubblegum to plug the spurting cranial chasm—here’s your game.
Mordin Solus—Mass Efect 3
Sorry, we’re… we’re just going to need a minute with this one. Salarian geneticist and professor Mordin’s death is just one part of a huge body count in Mass
Effect 3, but still manages to do serious damage to your heartstrings. He’d always been such an earnest, unassuming character, matter-of-factly doing what was best for the many whenever the opportunity arose. And that’s exactly what Mordin did when he saw an opportunity to cure the genophage, that weaponized plague designed to wipe out the Krogan. He matter-of-factly tinkered on a console while the world burned around him, knowing full well that he’d be scorched to cinders in just a few moments’ time. What. A. Hero.
Face McShooty—Borderlands 2
It’s rare to meet a psycho in Borderlands 2 who doesn’t immediately open fire on you. It’s rarer still to encounter one who actively seeks out your help in eliminating them. But if there was ever a case to be made for nominative determinism, it’s with Face McShooty, the mohawk-sporting chap who asks just that in an amusing variety of ways (“Now! Bullets in the face! Want ’em! Need ’em! Gimme gimme gimme! At the sound of the bell!”).
‘Shoot This Guy in the Face’ is as easy a mission as it is perplexing: He literally just wants you to shoot him in the face. He even yells “Thank you!” just before he expires from all those bullets to the face. So, you know, nothing if not polite.
Commander Carter—Halo Reach
Many, many games try to shoot for that rousing, bloodpumping atmosphere of heroism and sacrifice that James Cameron so often created in his ’80s repertoire, but no one does it better than Halo. Commander Carter’s Noble Team all live up to their name during
Halo Reach’s campaign and make the ultimate sacrifice for their mission, but it’s Carter’s own death that produces the biggest lump in the throat.
With a furrowed brow and excellently coiffeured hair, Carter flies Noble Six and Emile-A239 to their objective while riddled with bullet wounds, draws the Covenant’s attention away from them, then pilots his ship into a Behemoth. An underplayed, tear-jerking, moment that always gets us.
Joker—Batman: Arkham City
Is the Joker’s ironic expiration on this list for its surprise factor and emotional clout, or the unintentional comedy of such an iconic character dying in such bizarre and easily avoidable circumstances? The latter, 100 per cent. When Bats and Joker face off during Arkham City’s denouement, our hero is holding the cure for Joker’s malady. All Joker needs to do is let Batman go through some gravelly-voiced monologues, and he knows he’ll cough up the cure in the end thanks to his innate good nature. Instead, in a move that can only be considered rash, he attacks Bats and the cure falls to the floor. After barely trying to lick it up the Joker gives up and uses his remaining energy to say: “That is pretty funny…” If you say so.
Who’d have thought the consequences of missing a ledge or falling into some water could be so dire? Anyone who ever played Limbo, that’s who. At first a simple and darkly pretty game of silhouettes, Playdead’s side-on platformer quickly reveals itself to be a rigorous death simulator. One in which the developer built its puzzles with no expectation of the player succeeding in finding the correct solution. And it keeps piling on those doomy credentials every time you slip up. Caught by the spider in act one? Watch a kid get eaten. Got too close to an electrified wire? Watch a kid fry. Spent too long working on a puzzle underwater? Watch a kid drown in fits and flails. Thank heaven for minimalist art styles.