Passing the Torch
One of the singular pleasures of parenting is passing down your passions to your children. As any parent knows, that effort doesn’t always pay dividends, especially as they age into their cranky, reticent teens. Days on the water or in the deer stand explaining the nuances of such endeavors to a naïve, open-minded child is easy, but as they age, they tend to reject much of what you have to offer, save fast food, a warm bed and cold cash.
My father passed along his love of football and baseball, which I loved until I was about 13, then hated, then loved again in my 20s. He wasn’t an outdoorsman, but as often happens, my grandfather filled that gap, fostering my enduring love of boats, fishing and hunting. (See Dudley Dawson’s Sternlines column “Fishing with Old Granddad,” in this issue.)
Sailing found me when I was 20. I woke up one day and just had to do it. I have no idea why. The Midwestern school I attended had a strong sailing team, but I decided I had to do it where the water was salty. I moved to Boston and never looked back. I sailed in all weather, every moment I could, for years.
Early on, my two boys took to the water like retrievers after splashing ducks. When they were little, we fished, we paddled, we swam and we played on powerboats on Long Island Sound, but to my discontent, they seemed lukewarm to sailing. That is, until we started sailing small boats on Lake Michigan during vacations with friends. Over time, I could sense their interest building. A few years ago, I watched each of them sail off the beach alone and bring the boats home. As any parent can imagine, that was as big for me as it was for them.
Last summer, my oldest (ironically, then 20) experienced a surge of interest in the sport. We watched the America’s Cup World Series broadcasts together. I booked a trip to Newport, and we spent three memorable days sailing on Narragansett Bay in J/22s. I did most of the close-quarters work around the mooring, but he did most of the steering. As the weekend wore on, I could sense his confidence building, even in rough conditions. He was sailing the boat well and making good decisions. On the way in on our last run, I asked him if he felt up to handling the pickup. The approach required beating through a tight mooring field in puffy conditions. I was on the bow with the boathook, a bit nervous and offering encouragement, but offering little instruction. I swooned when he swung the boat into the wind at just the right moment and came to a dead stop at the ball.
Earlier, I’d coached my younger son through his first successful deer hunt. He took a break for a few years, but is now back at it. I’m pretty sure my oldest will continue to sail. If they find their own passions, that’s okay. They’ve given me a gift most parents like us long for: the passing of the torch and good days and great memories outdoors with my kids.
dAvid PollArd ANdrEw PArkiNSoN jill BoBrow, dUdlEy dAwSoN , jUStiNrAtCliffE (EUroPE), mAry SoUth
kim kAviN cOntributing WritErs loUiSA BECkEtt, ChriS CASwEll, AlAN hArPEr, kim kAviN, virgiNiA PhiliP, johN roUSmANiErE, gEorgE SASS, Sr.