Pen-pricks
• The Hollywood Reporter revealed that Homer and Marge Simpson will obtain a legal separation this fall on “The Simpsons” TV series on Fox. This is a show business epidemic. Homer is going to pose on the cover of Entertainment Weekly dressed a woman who chooses to be called Pilsner.
• Kourtney Kardashian’s husband Scott turned up drunk and late at a charity event in Canada this week as worries over his drinking continued. The Kardashian girls have turned Scott into a drunk, Lamar into a crack head and Bruce into a woman. Kanye West must feel like he’s sitting on death row.
• GOP candidate Lindsay Graham, who is single, said if elected he will have rotating first ladies. He’s already vowed to raise taxes, fund health care, destroy ISIS and he’s welcomed transgenders, now he’s promising to sleep around. Hillary Clinton doesn’t know whether to defeat him or marry him.
• BP’s annual world energy review reports the U.S. surpassed Russia last year as the world’s top oil producer. The Dow Jones hit a new high as the president pressed a free trade deal. When Barack Obama set out to emulate Abe Lincoln he didn’t mean to become the greatest Republican who ever lived.
• Queen Elizabeth observed the 800th anniversary of the Magna Carta Monday. It set up a council of lords to prevent a king from ruling by executive order. The Magna Carta prevented absolute monarchy for 560 years until Amercians rebelled and created the U.S. presidency.
• President Obama wrote Congress Friday it’s impossible to know how long U.S. troops will need to be deployed to help the Iraqis combat ISIS. The president stressed the U.S. military is there only as advisers. Just yesterday U.S. warplanes dropped 500 tons of advice on the enemy outside Mosul.