Nature vs. nurture: What factors make us who we become?
Nature versus nurture, is it life experiences that makes us who we are? Or is it in our DNA to become the people we are?
There are things in life we are born with, such as our hair type and color, skin color, color of eyes, height, for some even body type, weight and/or certain diseases. Most of these characteristics can nowadays be changed or altered with cosmetic treatments, medications, surgeries and/or procedures, nonetheless, we may see these same characteristics again in our children.
There are some who may say ways of thinking, how we do things, mannerisms, personality, feelings and likings are also part of what we are born with; but are they really?
Conversely, we know the earlier a particular characteristic or ability appears in a person, it can be determined it was genetically induced, regardless of what it is.
On the other hand, others may argue when a person is born, they are like a tabula rasa (blank slate) and it is gradually being filled as a result of experience and/or taught behaviors. In this manner, our psychological development adapts to our environment and matures, as time passes and as we are raised in certain ways, this is called nurture.
There are many vivid examples of nature versus nurture explaining both, which would take us a long time reading and discussing.
The most common examples may be with identical twins being separated at birth and adopted by two different families; this being the case of 11-yearolds Gracie Rainsberry and Audrey Doering. These twins were sent to live very different lives. They never met their biological parents but were raised with different adopted families. They each have different step-siblings and extended step-family members and grew to become two different children.
They have had different opportunities to live and become whomever they wish.
Regardless of this, they knew something in their lives was missing, and they wanted to find out what that was.
After many investigations from their adopted parents, they each found they had an identical twin, and started communicating with each other.
Little did they know they were identical not only in their appearance, but also in everything else they did, including behaviors and emotions.
This is when we may ask ourselves is it really the way we are raised that makes us who we are? Or is it that we are born this way, and we simply don’t change? Is it nature that brought them back together, because they each needed each other, as they felt empty?
Or was it nurture making them feel they needed someone else in their lives?
Questions we may be able to answer with our own experiences and upbringings. What we experience in life helps us create our own understanding of the same; therefore, it helps us create our own ideas and beliefs of why or how things happen in life. Hence the reason some of us may think it is nature, while others may think it is nurture, which makes us who we are.
Ultimately, we must recognize, no matter if our behaviors or aptitudes were given to us by nature or by nurture, we are responsible of our own actions and reactions.
We are who we want to be and become. What we chose to do now is what will dictate who we will be in the future.
No one is going to tell us what we should do or choose; people may recommend or suggest, but in the end, it is our choice of who or what we want to do or become.
Remember, your effort to remain what you are can be what limits you. The important thing is never to give up, always finish what you start, and accomplish all your goals, because everything will teach you something good, leaving you with a great experience.
It is all about choice of what we are going to do and chose to become. It is about us making a plan for ourselves and making it happen. Never blame others, rather take ownership of behaviors, beliefs, actions, reactions, thinking, ideas ... be yourself!
Magnolia Alonzo is an adult education program coordinator for the Somerton School District 11. She can be reached at malonzo@ssd11.org.