PEN-PRICKS

• Princess Diana’s death was marked on its 20th anniversary by fans bearing flowers to the palace gates as was the custom for a month after her mysterious car crash. If Facebook had been around back then we’d have quickly figured out who engineered her death. It was the flower industry.

• Mike Pence praised the spontaneous outbreak of Texas heroes rescuing each other during the flooding. Now that it’s receding one thing is clear. Forget Confederate generals just for a moment, Texas needs to erect a statue honoring the random average dude with a bass boat.