Pen-pricks

Yuma Sun - - OPINION - BY AR­GUS HAMIL­TON

The At­lantic re­ports news­pa­pers have re­turned to sub­scrip­tion-based rev­enue, not ad­ver­tis­ing rev­enue, to thrive. The pa­per is my daily rit­ual. Ev­ery morn­ing, I open the L.A. Times, turn to the po­lice re­port, bank­rupt­cies and obit­u­ar­ies, and If I don’t read my name I know I’m off to a great day.

The La­bor Depart­ment an­nounced that for the first time the num­ber of job open­ings are greater than the num­ber of qual­i­fied work­ers due to full em­ploy­ment. Not ev­ery­body is nec­es­sar­ily happy about it. There is a rea­son birds sing in the morn­ing, they don’t have to go to work.

The Honolulu Star re­ports that the Mount Ki­lauea’s erup­tions have na­tive Hawai­ians re­call­ing tribal lore to end the erup­tions. It called for the island’s chief to be thrown in the crater to ap­pease the gods. Obama quickly an­nounced that he was born in Kenya and has a birth cer­tifi­cate to prove it.

Bill Clin­ton re­worded his na­tional apol­ogy on CBS Late Night with Steven Col­bert say­ing he’s a mem­ber of the Me, Too move­ment. Well, he said it in his own way. Bill listed Har­vey We­in­stein, Louie CK, Matt Lauer, Tavis Smi­ley, Al Franken, Mor­gan Free­man, Char­lie Rose, and said Me, Too.

Ar­gus Hamil­ton is the host co­me­dian at The Com­edy Store in Hol­ly­wood and a speaker. His email ad­dress is ar­gus@ar­gushamil­ton.com.

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