Pen-pricks

• National Geographic reported that archeologists digging in Egypt found an ancient mummy whose body wrappings in her burial crypt included cocaine. This sets history on its ear. Until now, scientists believed it was Hollywood who was the first to believe that cocaine made you feel immortal.

• WalMart stopped selling T-shirts online that read Impeach 45 after Trump supporters vowed to boycott the store. Neither party minds if WalMart is selling MAGA hats. Democrats believe as an article of faith that Make America Great Again is a slogan that was four years ahead of its time.

• Jerry Brown signed the California Consumer Privacy Act into law, providing the strictest Internet privacy in the nation. The dating sites are safe now. A poll last Valentine’s Day revealed that twelve percent of people met their spouse online and eighty-eight percent met somebody else’s spouse online.