Pen-pricks

Yuma Sun - - OPINION - BY ARGUS HAMIL­TON Argus Hamil­ton is the host co­me­dian at The Com­edy Store in Hol­ly­wood and a speaker. His email ad­dress is [email protected]­gushamil­ton.com.

• The Hol­ly­wood Re­porter said viewer rat­ings for all three ma­jor cable news chan­nels are way up ever since Pres­i­dent Trump was elected to of­fice. The net­works air end­less par­ti­san di­a­tribes hour af­ter hour. Cable news is why los­ing your hear­ing once you get old is now con­sid­ered a re­ward.

• Louisiana State Univer­sity an­nounced it has a home for chimps who need a place to stay now that re­search on them is banned. Jour­nal Na­ture re­ported this month that chim­panzees use tools more than any other an­i­mal ex­cept man. This is why you never loan a chimp your Home De­pot card.

• The Getty Mu­seum in Los An­ge­les an­nounced it will host a ma­jor Christ­mas sea­son dis­play of the work of the great Re­nais­sance clas­sic artists. Every civ­i­liza­tion’s art is self-de­scrib­ing. The French use art to glo­rify love, the Ital­ians use art to glo­rify God, while Amer­i­cans pre­fer tak­ing self­ies.

• Trea­sury Sec­re­tary Steve Mnuchin said China agreed to re­move tar­iffs from U.S. au­to­mo­biles Mon­day. Co­me­di­ans are ner­vous. If Trump’s trade pol­icy works, his North Korean pol­icy works, no Rus­sia col­lu­sion is found, and the econ­omy works, we’re ba­si­cally back to mak­ing fun of his hair.

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