Pen-pricks

Yuma Sun - - OPINION - BY ARGUS HAMIL­TON Argus Hamil­ton is the host co­me­dian at The Com­edy Store in Hol­ly­wood and a speaker. His email ad­dress is [email protected]­gushamil­ton.com.

• Pres­i­dent Trump said his New Year’s res­o­lu­tions are the suc­cess, the pros­per­ity and the health of our coun­try. It’s the kind of New Year’s res­o­lu­tion we all make to link our de­sire to im­prove our­selves and as time flies on by I can­not be­lieve it’s been a year since I didn’t be­come a bet­ter per­son.

• Capi­tol Hill came alive Fri­day as new law­mak­ers staged videos and made over-the-top threats for me­dia at­ten­tion. Three women walk into a bar — a so­cial­ist Puerto Ri­can, a pre­tend Chero­kee and a Mus­lim with Tourettes syn­drome. Don­ald Trump then buys the bar so this never hap­pens again.

• The Wall Street Jour­nal quoted a pub­li­ca­tion in the bev­er­age in­dus­try that said Cal­i­for­ni­ans con­sume one­fourth of all the bot­tled wa­ter that’s sold in the United States. I have some news for my many friends in Los An­ge­les. If you pay four dol­lars for a gal­lon of Smart Wa­ter, it’s not work­ing.

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