New website aims to lighten tough subject

Farewelling combines event planning ideas with funeral arrangements

Talking about death is never easy. Who wants to focus on one’s funeral or last wishes when one is actively living? It can be a very challenging subject.

When my grandfather was dying of cancer, he didn’t hesitate to tell us his funeral wishes.

His thoughts? Do absolutely nothing. No services, no funeral, no calling hours. His wishes were to be cremated, and his ashes scattered on Lake Erie. Nothing else.

His point was, he was gone. And he wanted all of the money to go to my grandmother, and not be spent on funeral expenses that he saw as completely unnecessary.

In fact, when he was told how much a post-cremation urn would cost, he suggested we rinse out a milk jug, noting that the home would be temporary, and he wouldn’t notice anyway.

Now, our family was of the opinion that funeral services were for the living, to say goodbye and have closure, so my grandmother did what she wanted to do (although she did keep it small, and we did scatter his ashes on the lake).

I’m sure that part of my grandfather’s intention was to shock us into laughing at a time when it was tempting to curl up and cry, and ultimately, he made the process much easier on all of us.

So I was intrigued when I saw a story on Mashable recently about a company called Farewelling. The company’s goal is to make death an easier topic to discuss. It uses a digital platform to provide tools to plan a funeral or memorial for themselves or a loved one.

Farewelling was designed by an event planner and a funeral director who saw an opportunity and joined forces. The event planner, who normally deals with weddings and celebrations, brought that experience to the table alongside the funeral director’s experiences. The end result is a place that “normalizes the conversation,” according to Mashable, and helps people navigate funeral planning.

At Farewelling, they approach death “from a place of lightheartedness with respect.”

I love that idea. As hard as my grandfather’s passing was, he helped us tremendously, talking about it upfront and not avoiding it. When the time came, we were as ready as we could be.

Farewelling has the potential to do something similar for participants. When funeral planning is done ahead of time, it removes a tremendous amount of pressure, allowing families to simply grieve and honor their loved ones.

Do we want to discuss death? The vast majority of the time, no. But it’s worth doing at least once with your family. Farewelling may be on to something that can help make the process that much easier.