Pen-pricks

• Nancy Pelosi rebuked two U.S. Congressmen who chartered flights to Kabul to rescue stranded Americans there. Cable news video showed the Taliban going door-to-door machine-gunning Afghans who refuse to comply with the new regime’s orders. The CDC is reportedly studying the idea.

• The CDC stated that Americans who aren’t vaccinated should stay home all Labor Day weekend. It only takes a five-second shot to get the bureaucrats out of your hair. It appears the spread of Covid is based on two factors–how dense the population is and how dense the population is.

• The Centers for Disease Controls released a study which found that the pandemic and shutdown greatly increased obesity in America. However

a Swedish study just found that being overweight can actually help prevent some diseases. Specifically the sexually transmitted kind.

• CDC Director Rochelle Walensky warned there’s a new variant that’ll follow the Delta variant. For me, after a year and a half of dire warnings, the pandemic has finally reached the oh-shut-up-level. The hardest part of 14 days to flatten the curve is always the last 18 months.