Pen-pricks

• Bill Clinton was invited to the White House for lunch by President Biden, indicating that Democrats in power are finally turning to their smartest politician for political advice. His whole life has been politics since childhood. Bill didn’t even have a high school girlfriend until he was 38.

• British MP Neal Parish resigned after he was caught viewing porn while seated in Commons. He says he Googled tractors but got directed to Porn Hub. You have never felt lust until you have put your feet up on the desk and watched two tractors having sex. Neal just got a John Deere letter from his wife.

• House Speaker Nancy Pelosi flew into the war zone to meet face to face with Ukrainian President Vladimir Zelensky about proving more U.S. weapons. Everyone applauded the display of bravery. A possibly doomed leader with little time left in power shows the courage to meet with Zelensky.

• Homeland Security head Alejandro Mayorkas on

CNN urged migrants not to come to the U.S. border. He said his focus of concern is the U.S. border in Arizona and California and Texas. New Mexico never makes the news about immigration unless Alec Baldwin’s film crew enters the state legally.

argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood and a speaker. His email address is argus@argushamilton.com.