Pen-pricks

• The L.A. Times cited inflation for sky-high real estate values, saying the median price of a home in L.A. is approaching one million dollars. Everyone who has a house is a millionaire. Prince Harry made plans to play the full polo season in Southern California to get closer to the common people.

• The Census Bureau said California’s population fell again last year over emigration and a decline in the marriage rates. No one can say I didn’t give it the old college try. Last night I asked my girlfriend, the sexiest woman I know, and the smartest woman I ever met, to marry me, and all three said no.

• The Washington Post reported panic in the District’s hiking and jogging trails because a violent tom turkey on on the loose attacking joggers and hikers and bicyclists. It’s the same old story. The turkey that President Biden pardoned for Thanksgiving is back out on the streets committing crimes.