Pen-pricks

• President Biden’s teleprompter broke down so Joe started ad-libbing to reporters saying Delaware is a small state and never had a senator. The malfunction prompted a quick call to India. The guy from tech support said to unplug Joe, wait 30 seconds, plug him back in and see if that helps.

• Governor Ron DeSantis ripped Disney for backing gender identity teaching to first grade children, saying Disney wants to import California values to Florida. The two states are different. In West Hollywood grade school, first-graders are taught that two plus two equals four, unless it identifies as five.

• Dave Chappelle was onstage at the Hollywood Bowl when an armed crowd member ran and tackled Dave during the live streaming Netflix show. It reminded everyone what happened at the Oscars. L.A. police addressed reporters and called the attack another case of black-on-black publicity.

• The Daily Mail reports the British Virgin Islands governor was busted in Miami for cocaine trafficking and money laundering. The British High Court has just urged the British government to name someone in London to rule directly over the Virgin Islands. At last a perfect job for Prince Andrew.