Pen-pricks

• The Johnny Depp-Amber Heard defamation trial resumed after a week’s recess Monday with the actress on the witness stand countering his damaging revelations about her with hers about him. At least there are no kids involved. Everyone in West Hollywood is just grateful she never got him pregnant.

• The White House took considerable heat over pushing the $40 billion military aid to Ukraine bill through Congress ahead of domestic needs. Leave it to Biden to get things mixed up. Over the weekend, he sent baby formula to Ukraine and America’s nursing mothers got torpedo bras.

• Senator Mitch McConnell took a delegation of GOP senators on a surprise flight to Ukraine and to meet President Zelensky. It was touch and go for a while. The senators were lucky to be riding in bullet-proof limos to make it through the gunfire and out of Washington D.C. to the airport.

• JP Morgan economic analysts said that this recent 20% spike in gasoline prices has slashed U.S. consumer spending by $10 billion on other goods and services. It’s doubled on the West Coast. Gas is so expensive in L.A. it has its own pimp on Hollywood Boulevard.