Put down the phone, focus on connections

Survey finds unsettling results for teens – but for parents, too

Here’s a headline that caught our attention Monday morning.

“Most teens report feeling happy or peaceful when they go without smartphones, Pew survey finds.”

The headline was courtesy of the Associated Press, citing a recent survey of 1,453 pairs of teens, which was conducted in the fall of 2023.

And we have to say, when we go without our smartphones, we feel pretty happy and peaceful, too, so perhaps that portion of the survey isn’t all that surprising.

However, some of the other results were.

According to the Pew Research Center, 38% of teens said they spend too much time on their smartphones. About a quarter say the same regarding their social media use. It’s interesting that teens would be aware that they were spending too much time staring at their phones – and it gives us hope they may put those phones back down and focus on the world around them a little more.

And that appears to be the case – 39% of teens say they have cut back their time on social media, while 36% say they have done the same with their phones.

However, some of the stats are a little more unsettling.

While 74% say they feel happy when they don’t have their phones, and 72% feel peaceful, 44% say it can also make them feel anxious, 40% feel upset and 39% feel lonely.

However, only 7-32% of teens say they often feel those negative emotions when they are phone-less, Pew reports.

Without question, people have a smartphone addiction problem. Look around in any restaurant, and you are guaranteed to find tables where people are looking at their phones and not their dinner mates. (And really, what’s the point of going out if you are just going to stare at your phones?)

While the Pew study is looking specifically at teens’ relationships with their smartphones, adults need to take a hard look at themselves too.

And here’s the worst number of all in this survey. Nearly half of teens say their parent is sometimes distracted by their phone – 46% – when they are trying to talk to them, including 8% who say this happens often.

Parents, we don’t need to tell you that the teen years are challenging. Communicating with a teen can be tough – and in the teen years, the clock is ticking before they leave your home and become adults themselves. If they want to talk to you … please, put down your phone and give them the full attention they deserve.

It’s easy to come home from a long day and stare at your cell phone rather than communicate with your family. We get it – the days can be challenging, and sometimes, you just need a mental break of sorts.

But what’s really happening? While staring at your cell phone, you are breaking a connection with your family – and you are setting the example that it’s OK for your kids to follow suit.

We’re not here to be judgemental. We get the pressures of the day and the escape a smartphone can provide – but if you have kids at home, be aware of the message you are sending to them.

And perhaps try setting that phone down and working on the connections with those you love instead – and that’s a message for both parents and teens alike.