Mex­i­can women learn to sext safely

Viet Nam News - - LIFE - By Jean Luis Arce

Mary­trini Aguilar, a 43-year-old Mex­i­can woman with a sta­ble mar­riage and two grown chil­dren, may not be what most peo­ple have in mind when they think of the word "sex­ting".

But she is proud to be part of a small but en­thu­si­as­tic group of women shed­ding their clothes - and their taboos - to ex­plore their sex­u­al­ity and spice up their re­la­tion­ships by shar­ing racy self­ies snapped on their cell phones.

"Sex­ting makes me feel free to ex­press my sen­su­al­ity. It flat­ters my van­ity and makes me feel secure. It pleases me to please the per­son I'm send­ing the pic­ture to," Aguilar says.

Aguilar joined seven other women re­cently for a work­shop in Mex­ico City on sex­ting safely and re­spon­si­bly.

Spon­sored by the Mex­i­can gov­ern­ment, the free work­shop - or­gan­ised by women's rights group Luchado­ras - is called "I sext, do you?"

It en­cour­ages par­tic­i­pants to view sex­ting as a form of free­dom of speech and sex­ual lib­er­a­tion, but also to be aware of the dan­gers.

"I haven't told any­one about it yet," says Aguilar, who takes pride in sub­vert­ing the stereo­type of a 40-some- thing Mex­i­can mom.

"I think (my friends) do it too, but they would never ad­mit it. They see it as some­thing for young women. Why would a mar­ried mother of two do it?" says the tat­tooed busi­ness­woman, who has a 22-year-old son and 21-year-old daugh­ter, and en­joys sex­ting with her hus­band.

She says the work­shop - taught in three four-hour ses­sions - made her feel em­pow­ered.

"We learned we're all the same, that we all have things to share, to keep ex­plor­ing our sex­u­al­ity and sen­su­al­ity, and that ev­ery­one can be sen­sual," she says.

But in our hy­per-con­nected world, sex and tech­nol­ogy can be a dan­ger­ous mix, es­pe­cially for women.

In­ti­mate mes­sages and pho­tos are leaked on­line by erst­while part­ners so of­ten a term has been coined for it - re­venge porn. Var­i­ous gov­ern­ments around the world have out­lawed it, in­clud­ing 40 US states and coun­tries from Bri­tain to Ja­pan.

Hack­ers have also made a twisted hobby of break­ing into peo­ple's phones and steal­ing their in­ti­mate pho­to­graphs.

In 2014, the prob­lem drew world­wide at­ten­tion when hack­ers leaked pic­tures of celebri­ties in­clud­ing ac­tresses Jen­nifer Lawrence and Kirsten Dunst, model Kate Up­ton and singer Ri­hanna.

In Mex­ico, a coun­try with a long his­tory of machismo and alarm­ing lev­els of vi­o­lence against women - seven women and girls are killed here ev­ery day, ac­cord­ing to the United Na­tions - eight states have out­lawed re­venge porn.

"It re­ally is an at­tack and an in­va­sion of pri­vacy, and it is wide­spread through­out the coun­try, on a mas­sive, or­ga­nized level," says Lulu Bar­rera, the founder of Luchado­ras and leader of the work­shop.

She is adamant that women should not be the ones who are shamed in such cases.

"This idea that women who sext... have to be care­ful, that they shouldn't ex­press them­selves sex­u­ally... what it does is make them the guilty party and re-vic­tim­izes them," she says. AFP

Newspapers in English

Newspapers from Viet Nam

© PressReader. All rights reserved.