Ways to get your teenager off the couch
What’S that lump on the sofa?
Uh-oh. It’s a teenager with no summer plans — unless you count playing Wii and texting.
Time to help that kid get a life. Never mind that summer’s well under way, and all the other kids had jobs, internships, camps and classes lined up long ago.
Here are some ways teens can use the rest of the season constructively, along with tips for parents to help get them off that couch:
Motivation
Sure, teens may need a little down time, especially if they’re busy during the school year. But Mary Jo Rapini, a psychotherapist with The Methodist Hospital in Houston, said: “It’s not good for kids to do nothing in the summer,” she said. “We know for a fact that kids who lie around all day, often times their self-esteem goes down; they get into more trouble; they feel disengaged from families. They get lonely in the summer, and they need attention.”
They are at higher risk for teen pregnancy, Rapini said: “They are texting, they are sexting, they have access to all kinds of websites. Whenever kids don’t have a routine, their lives get chaotic.”
If your teen is resistant or lacks initiative, Rapini said the first step for parents is simply “sitting and talking.” What is your teen interested in? What is he or she good at? Identify people, businesses or organisations they might contact about a job or volunteering.
Next, parents should help teens practice a pitch they can make that sums up their skills and what they’re looking for.
Then set a goal for the teen: “I want you to make three calls today. I want to know after each one you call how it went, and I will cross it off the list.”
“You can inspire a kid by presenting a task to solve and saying: ‘We have got to work on this. This is our goal,’ ” Rapini said.
Even if the calls don’t lead to a gig, at least the teen made an effort and practiced job-searching skills.
Networking
Teach teens to network by helping create lists of neighbours, friends and relatives. Go through family address books or e-mail lists. Consider the day-care centre or day camp they attended when they were young, houses of worship or nearby parks. Can they volunteer at an animal shelter or as a reader in a senior centre?
Are there stores they patronise that might let them help out?
“Or they can call the family veterinarian and say: ‘Hey, you are the vet for Fluffy. Can I do some assistant work with you for free this summer?’ ”said Deena Maerowitz, a college admissions consultant in New York City and Connecticut.
Entrepreneurship
Entrepreneurial teens should be encouraged to “try their hand at their own business,” whether baby-sitting, tutoring, lawn-mowing or dog-walking, said Caroline Ceniza-Levine of Six-Figure Start, a career-coaching firm specialising in students and young professionals.
Help your teen think about marketing: “How are people going to find out about them? Are they going to do flyers? Are they going to put up a Web site? How much would they charge for their service? How much do other people charge?” Ceniza-Levine said.
She stressed that the process can be productive even if it doesn’t lead to earning money. A teen interested in animals or sports might set up a blog or Web site on the subject. A teen who dreams of a specialised career might find a professional to shadow for a day.
Volunteering
Finding volunteer gigs can be challenging. “Nonprofits are busier than ever, but often they aren’t equipped to take in people off the streets,” said Robert Rosenthal, spokesman for VolunteerMatch, based in San Francisco.
Fortunately the VolunteerMatch.org Web site offers thousands of prescreened opportunities, from one-day gigs helping out at a festival to long-term internships in the arts.
One organisation that lists opportunities on the site is reading partners, which provides one-on-one tutors in California elementary schools. A third of the group’s 900 volunteers are high school and college students, including Nalini Jain, 16, who organised a summer reading partners program at a Mountain View elementary school where most of the children are Hispanic. Nalini recruited other teens to help. “A lot of kids were looking for things to do,” she said. “Three of my friends jumped at the opportunity.”
Think small
For teens who are reluctant to make cold calls or take the initiative, “try to think small,” said Maerowitz. “If your kid is resisting getting a full-time job or an internship, think of shorter-term projects.”