My sis­ter is too close to my boyfriend

Sunday News (Zimbabwe) - - Front Page -

Send your sms to 0773111328 or 0772115830 or write to Sis Noe, Sun­day News, Box 585, Bu­l­awayo. You can also fol­low Sis Noe on http://sis­noe. blogspot.com MY sis­ter likes be­ing all over my boyfriend when he vis­its us. She loves flirt­ing and I worry that she will se­duce him. She has done that be­fore. Re­ply

You are stuck be­tween a rock and a hard place. But the an­swer is to re­move your boyfriend from the equa­tion. If she doesn’t see him then she can­not try to get him away from you. Prob­lem solved! So why don’t you sug­gest that you meet up away from your home? You could go to his place, or meet any place far away from your se­duc­tive sis­ter. I am sure you can come up with some ex­cuses to keep him away, even just for a while. I’m sure your grue­some sis­ter will catch on quick when her “prey” stops com­ing round, but it’s noth­ing to do with her. She has a se­ri­ous prob­lem with you and you have done well to keep a lid on your feel­ings for all this time. She has tried to put you in the shade from day one, but you are an adult now and if you don’t live un­der the same roof your re­la­tion­ship with her may im­prove.

My best friend took ad­van­tage of me. She bor­rowed $500 af­ter she lied that she was hav­ing prob­lems. I have dis­cov­ered that she used the money to throw a party and to booze with her boyfriend. She keeps moan­ing that she is hav­ing fi­nan­cial dif­fi­cul­ties. I want my money back. What must I do?

Re­ply

Why are you so con­cerned about fall­ing out with this woman? She owes you money. She tugged your heart­strings and em­bar­rassed you into with­draw­ing your pre­cious sav­ings. Since then she has been out en­joy­ing her­self and has made no men­tion of pay­ing you back. I urge you to get tough. If you be­lieve that you have been conned, then re­port this mat­ter to the po­lice. Don’t al­low the fact that you used to be close to make you feel guilty. It’s al­ways very sad when peo­ple let us down; we start to doubt our­selves and ques­tion if we have some­how mis­un­der­stood a par­tic­u­lar sit­u­a­tion or got it wrong. But I worry that this is a stunt that your “friend” may have pulled on other peo­ple too, in which case, she needs to be stopped.

Hi Sis Noe

My hus­band and I used to be too busy for sex. Now we are re­tired but noth­ing has changed. He is no longer in­ter­ested in sex. Any time I sug­gest we make love he comes up with an ex­cuse. I am tempted to cheat. Re­ply

I sus­pect your hus­band has lost his sex­ual con­fi­dence. Years of be­ing con­sumed with work have left him con­fused about what his role is now at home. Talk to him away from the bed­room and em­pha­sise that sex is im­por­tant to you. Would he con­sider go­ing back to ba­sics with hugs, kisses, kind words and date nights? Keep talk­ing and see­ing where com­pro­mises might be made. I’m not sug­gest­ing you throw up your mar­riage, but if you crave af­fec­tion and you are not get­ting it, you may have to start think­ing about your own hap­pi­ness and sat­is­fac­tion in a longterm con­text.

My girl­friend loves watch­ing porn. She says she learns from it. Our sex life has changed as a re­sult, she is me­chan­i­cal dur­ing sex. She does all the porn moves and makes noises but it’s all an act. — Wor­ried.

Re­ply

A re­cent sur­vey in the UK re­vealed that one in three women watch porn and that the ma­jor­ity of those never view it with their part­ners, ei­ther. Many women enjoy this ma­te­rial be­cause it gives them a chance to find out what they want and how to please them­selves. I sug­gest you talk to her away from the bed­room in an ef­fort to find out more. Tell her that you are not happy with the way things are be­cause you feel ex­cluded and con­fused. Can you and she find some mid­dle ground and work this out as adults or do you feel this im­bal­ance is a re­la­tion­ship breaker?

I am a young man aged 19 with a girl of 16. We have been dat­ing for six months. Ev­ery time I call and send air­time so that she can call me but she doesn’t re­spond.

Re­ply

Stop send­ing her the air­time and use it to call your friends and rel­a­tives. She is tak­ing you for granted be­cause she be­lieves that you love her too much to al­low her to get away with treat­ing you like a stair­case that she just steps on. Never make some­one a pri­or­ity if you are just an op­tion to them. If there is one thing that girls want its at­ten­tion but when they get it they tend to re­lax and fail to re­cip­ro­cate. You need to re­alise that you are im­por­tant in her life, ig­nore her for four days. Don’t call, don’t text and don’t visit her, just spend the time you usu­ally ded­i­cate to her with friends. If she loves you she will get wor­ried and she will come to you with her tail be­tween her legs. Trust me on this one.

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