Being a holiday sex toy

THE festive season is upon us and a lot of people from different corners of the world come home to visit family and friends.

Long lost “friends” hook up and definitely some hearts will be left broken as they will just be used as holiday sex toys.

Some people who have come for holiday are just hungry for fun, company and entertainment. They will hunt for friends and even mislead some people into thinking that though they were not communicating with them, they still have got a thing for them.

Remember these people have money to spend, so someone somewhere after being spoilt once or twice will fall for the trick and believe that she is loved.

Unfortunately when holidays end, the person returns to his place and that will be the last time you hear from him. You get hurt and all, but he would have got what he wanted. For some people history always repeats itself but they don’t learn. There are some relationships which only blossom in December thereafter die a silent death. It’s hurting to be someone’s holiday sex toy.

Of course it’s said “Love is blind,” but one must be alert and realise if she is really loved and appreciated or is just a place holder. If someone only looks for you to satisfy his personal needs, then you are going to be hurt.

The other thing, always trust your sixth sense, when you feel something is off, you are probably right. Give strength to your inner voice which always tries to alert you by having questions such as, “Why does he only look for me in December when he comes home, is he in a stable relationship with someone? Why does he cut communication when he leaves, does he really love me?” So many unanswered questions which most people choose to ignore.

The other thing when you gather strength and ask him, they always got problems in their relationships and they will silence you by telling you it’s complicated. Why is it always complicated in December, but from January they will be posting pictures with their real “partners” on social media.

Smell the coffee and avoid having double trouble in January where you will be nursing a heartbreak and on the other hand broke. You know when someone is using you, something feels off.

This feeling is there for a reason, don’t ignore it. If you do, you will only get yourself hurt. If you feel uncomfortable and suspicious, your body is telling you something.

Relationships are not supposed to have an On and Off button. If it does, then someone is being used. You know there are some people who are only nice in December because they need something from you. They become super nice because of favours they need and at such a time because of the soft spot you have for that person, one can easily get carried away and fail to say “No”.

You usually don’t have a problem, but when you are around him, you have a hard time saying no. When someone is using you, he uses all the tricks in the book to manipulate you.

You will find yourself falling for their tactics and doing everything they want.

All they need from you are favours. It’s the only thing you really get to talk to him about. He doesn’t call for anything else unless it’s about sex or favours. I know you want to help him because you like him, but if he’s constantly asking for favours from you, he will leave you hurting in January as he will go and forget about you.

If you are a December sex toy, you will notice that the person only phones or communicates with you at his time. When you text or call him, it’s radio silence, but when he wants to get a hold of you, he will call or text you obsessively. If he really cared, he would respond to your calls and texts like a normal person.

Maybe because he’s using you, he doesn’t see you as someone important until the right moment.

Unfortunately when he calls, you get too excited and believe the silly excuses he gives you and when you meet you fulfil his plans.

On the other hand, he doesn’t fulfil your needs. There are things you would like him to do for you, but he doesn’t do anything you want. He ignores your needs completely and makes you feel like you are just there to serve him. And that’s because you are.

Your needs don’t matter to him, what matters is that you pay attention to his needs. At times he gets angry when you don’t fulfil his needs. If you don’t do what he says, he becomes angry. And then he punishes you. He’ll ignore your calls or texts and make you feel extremely guilty.

If he’s guilt-tripping you, then by end of day he knows he will make you do crazy favours. This is an old trick, yet it works on many people.

It does a great job of emotionally controlling someone as it makes the person work harder for attention and affection. He will ignore your calls and texts, but just when you think it’s over, he will text and ask you to hang out then get what he wants.

If you are a December sex toy, most times you only get night calls. This is such a classic move and one of the clearest signs you are being used. The person will pretend to be busy with family issues during the day, but that’s crap. Unless you only hook up on a specific day of the week, there’s no reason for him to only call you at night. If that’s the case, he’s only using you for sex.

The person doesn’t even have time for you. When you talk to him, he’s there, but he’s not really listening to you. It feels like you are mainly talking to yourself. You should notice that he is not there to solve your problems, he’s there so you can solve his.

Get a life and avoid being someone’s December sex toy as you will be left heartbroken. Do not allow anyone to use you for their personal benefits. It is important for you to know where the relationship stands so you can decide how much of a physical and emotional investment you want to put into it.