Mat North men toast to First Lady’s teachings
THOUSANDS of men, including 15 chiefs from Matabeleland North Province, yesterday thronged First Lady Dr Auxillia Mnangagwa’s informative and educative male engagement session.
The programme seeks to enhance men’s access to health facilities, fight drug abuse, gender-based violence and moral decay, among a host of social challenges affecting the nation. Dr Mnangagwa, who is the country’s health ambassador, humbled herself before the chiefs and the men as she sought permission to engage them on various topics. The event was well-attended, signalling a positive response to the mother of the nation’s teachings.
“Allow me to stand before you as a woman because in our country we respect men as heads of households and families. I have come with the issue of health and how we are heading our families as fathers. As you know, our children have lost morals these days. Our children are now drunkards. During this interactive session, we want to see how we can handle issues concerning our children who are now into drugs because the country requires leaders who are not drunkards and are well learned,” she said.
She implored men to lead by example, bearing in mind that children and the community take after them.
“If you offer proper leadership, it will be transmitted to the children and they will in turn influence their friends and it now becomes dandemutande. It is my plea that you join hands with your wives in ensuring peace and stability in the home. We shall discuss as to what kind of sonin-law you prefer as fathers while women indicate the kind of daughter-in-law they prefer,” she said.
The First Lady said children must learn that being cautioned does not constitute abuse.
“Our children are now victims of alcoholism, drug and substance misuse; they have lost focus. Instead, their minds are now focused on stealing and using all sorts of tactics to induce their parents to give them that last cent in the home for them to buy tumbwa, mutoriro, guka and others so that they are drunk every day,” she said.
Amai Mnangagwa said on her way to the venue, she had met a drunk young boy who was struggling to walk.
“Whose child is this? He belongs to us. On the other hand, our daughters are now competing with their fathers to drink beer and have lost all respect for their bodies. In our culture as Africans, the female body is sacred. They have abandoned our cultural tenets and all forms of good behaviour that we want to see from them. As mothers, we are grieving. We now have health problems like BPs, stress brought about by what we see happening in our children’s lives.”
The First Lady urged men to intervene and play the central role expected of them. She also spoke against gender-based violence. Some problems affecting families, Dr Mnangagwa said, stem from crimes that people knowingly commit.
“Let us not fold our hands and wait for police to bring sanity and order in our communities. Let us work with the police so that we address all bad things we would have seen. We have many ways of informing the police like suggestion boxes so that these crimes and drugs that are being sold in our communities are solved. We know who is doing these things. I urge everyone here to practice community policing and report anything that brings us harm.”
The First Lady said families needed to have good deeds to earn a good name.
“What are your children doing in the community?
This is what we want you as men to tell us. As mothers, when you are at home when the father is away, tell him about the children’s behaviour respectfully. This is what women must do since you came to build homes,” she said emphatically.
She acknowledged that economically empowering women would help end domestic violence. She added she was initiating projects for women, who she said need to always respect their husbands.
“I am glad that as men you also agree that empowering women helps curb domestic violence. Even though I have rolled out projects for women, I have emphasised that they should still remain respectful to their husbands as heads of households.”
During the interactive session, Mr Mandlakazulu Khumalo, who is Chief Matupula, said communities were grappling with a surge in domestic violence because there was no longer respect for culture. He thanked the First Lady for bringing the programme to the area, saying it was an eye-opener.
“As chiefs, the issue of gender-based violence is affecting us a lot. These cases are on the increase because people no longer respect our culture. A respectable home in the past was one which had peace, happiness and a healthy family. Amai, we want our morals and culture back among our people.
“As chiefs we urge people to follow your educative programmes and we are grateful that you have come and made our job easier as chiefs because the issues you raised here are the same ones troubling us. We want to thank you for your presence. Thank you so much for coming to Matabeleland North. You have travelled across the country because of your love. Today you are here and have brought us food and good teachings,” he said.
Mr Mmeliwethu Maseko agreed that domestic violence will decline if women were empowered.
“If women are empowered, violence will decline because our women sometimes exert pressure on us demanding things that we cannot afford. However, we are grateful that Amai you have empowered our women today by introducing projects for them, and we will be assisting each other in looking after the family,” he said.
Another discussant, Mr Mziwethu Sibanda, also spoke against child marriages.
“To avoid child marriages, give children time to learn. These little girls are not brides, give them a chance to reach their full potential and give them a chance to choose a man of their choice. You can’t take a child who is wet between the ears and use her to appease avenging spirits. We have rejected this. We men are marrying off these children. We are even the same people taking them as wives. Let us put an end to this menace. We are destroying the future of our children,” he said.
Mr Phalisani Ncube drew laughter when he said men must be given their rightful places in the home and avoid challenges spawned by the demand for equality.
“These demands of 50:50 equality by our wives are killing homes. Some women think because we are equal then she should not respect me and I should do the dishes. I remain the head of the household under whatever circumstances and must get that respect,” he said.
Mr James Siamenga said he had fully embraced the First Lady’s programme.
“We have welcomed this programme and we thank you for your vision Amai. We promise you as Matabeleland North men that we will change and follow your teachings.
“You have shown great love for this nation and we shall also undergo regular health checks as you have said,” he said.
Mr Charles Kamusoko said men were largely to blame for challenges affecting communities and families because they were not taking their responsibilities seriously.
“We men have problems because we must ensure a family is protected and children are on the correct path. But, if we spend most of our time in bars or on social media, who will look after the children and if they take drugs how do we see them?”
Chief Ndondo (Mr Dumisani Ndondo) agreed, saying the First Lady had hit the nail on the head with a well thought-out intervention.
“We are really grateful that you have made the initiative of having this right round the country, especially on the issue of gender-based violence. We have a big problem in the country over genderbased violence in mining towns. I am very happy that most chiefs went for a course in counselling so we can sit down with people and help them on GBV where we can.”
This dovetailed with the remarks by Mrs Failess Matemba from the First Lady’s Office, who praised Dr Mnangagwa for setting up the 575 National Gender-Based Violence Call Centre. The main thrust of this initiative, she said, was to eradicate any forms of violence relating to gender and foster peace in the domestic set-up.
“Since inception of the national gender-based violence toll-free line, statistics gathered show that women are mostly victims with men mostly being perpetrators. In a bid to address this, we have partnered with service providers to offer counselling services, judicial and spiritual upliftment services,” she said.